Mother does not understand me and wants me to be like her. What to do?

Mother does not understand me and wants me to be like her.  What to do?

Actual Question:

Hope you are doing good! I do not have good relations with my mother. Of course , she is my real mother. We have conflict in each and every situation. I keep fighting, trying to make her understand that I am little different from her. She keeps crying. If I do anything good which is agreeable to her thoughts , she shows her love else we are sure to have a fight. It has been more than 10 years. I want to end this. She expects a lot from me at-least to be like her; but I do not have that ability and neither I want to be. This is impacting my daily life . She is getting rude day by day. And I more than her. I am not an insolent person. But at home , I have been given this title. We do have many problems in life but it is with everyone. My mother likes to be tensed whole day. She never laughs and is not even satisfied. She do not even take care of herself. If someone tries to do so , she just scold them. Sometimes she become too dependent and wants everything at her call. If we ignore her due to some business, then comes Indian mothers’ dialogues. She was never like this but really I do not know how to keep peace with her. Kindly guide me.


If a thief wants you to be like him, you should not fulfil that.

If anyone forces you to commit any offences, you should avoid him.

But, a mother who is leading a dignified life wants her daughter to lead a life with a certain principles, why should you take her wrong?

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She may be outdated in her way of life compared to today’s modern living.

She may be adamant in forcing her daughter in certain things.

But, she is not forcing you to do wrong.

She expects her daughter to hear her words and help her in works.

Do you think it is wrong?

When the situation is not as expected by her, she gets mentally disturbed and hence she behaves in a compelling way.

That’s all.

Have you ever thought the case of your mother from her angle?

She have lived for all of you.

She has sacrificed all her comforts for all of you.

She has been living her life just for all of you.

She might have many disappointments in her life.

You are affected by a single person – ie, your mother.

But, your mother has been taking care all the members of your family.

A mother has to take many avatars – as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter of her parents, as a maid, as a nurse, etc.

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Have you ever thought how difficult it is?

Everyone would behave in their own way.  She has to manage everything.

Because of the pressure of all the responsibilities and distinct approaches will definitely make her mind frustrated and tensed.

She does not go to clubs or hotels to release the tension.

Every mother would like to see her children gaining good fame in their life.  She will always regulate them by giving advices and suggestions to protect themselves.

She has more experience than you.  She has seen many ups and downs in her life.

She does not like to see her children to suffer.

That is why, she is always giving advices and directions to her children.

She just expects your understanding her and cooperation to her.

If you lead a principled life, she feels happy. If you understands her, she feels happy.

But, you can do what she expects.  Atleast for her happiness.

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Is she demanding bundle of money from you?

Just understanding and cooperation.

Of course, you can not lead a life like her because of the changing trends of life.  If she does not understand today’s changing life styles, it is your duty to discuss with her frankly and patiently and explain her why you are doing something. A soothing way of discussion will definitely make her understand your case.

Hereafter, see your mother from her angle.

You will wonder how she is managing all the pressures for the past many years.

Start loving her advices and try your best to follow them.

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It will make her happy.

Usually, the parents are going to leave this world before the children.

After their demise, we will feel the emptiness because of their absence.

Therefore, let us do our best to making them happy atleast by trying to follow what they advise, or to explain patiently why we are unable to follow that advice.

This will make your family life beautiful.

Try this approach.

All the best.


Author: RAJAN

Having a long observation and association with all sections of people for decades, Rajan is promoting online media in different platforms including this blog website to guide lakhs of regular followers to prevent and solve their problems. He gives complete Counsellings and Tips on Medical, Health, Psychological, Women safety, Child safety, Issues in Family Relations, Love, Marriage, Personal life, etc.! His services have helped thousands of people to come out of negative thoughts and to change their way of approaching the problems in their life and hence he is considered as their trusted FRIEND to share the problems and get them counselled. He is also well known to follow strict confidentiality in his counselling services.

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