I am disturbed by almost all types of desires. Can I get reformed?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“my question is that among regulative principles illicit activities is most strong one. so i want to be cured and detached totally from this disease. if someone mind is disturbed through girls body and clothing as well as addiction of watching them in media then what should should be done to be cured from these actions. what does sastras, srimad bhagavad gita and bhagavatam say about these activities?? i want complete information about it!! is it possible to get rid out from these dirty activites? plz reply by considering me a begger who wants love of krishna, associations of krishna devotee for krishna conciousness!! plz in name of krishna plz help us, suggest us and show the clean ways to be pure devotee and so that we can love krishna wholeheartedly and never fall down again!! plz help dear sir!!”
Your message shows that you have the problem of almost all the forms of sense related activities.
Wow….You are very severely attached with the maya’s products and exhibitions.
However, in the corner of your heart, there is some place for God also.
Since you have the willingness to become pure, you can get rid of these unwanted activities IF YOU ARE SERIOUS IN YOUR EFFORTS TO GET RELIEVED.
When there is a green signal for licensed relations in marriage, what is the need for illicit and other forms of relations?
If you are in teen age, it is just 3-5 years in which you can marry and have your desires fulfilled. If you have crossed twenty, already you are ready for marriage and can marry at the earliest discussing the need with your parents.
WHAT CAN BE THE DANGERS IN UNWANTED RELATIONS?
(A) RISKS IF THE THE VIOLATION IS INITIATED BY THE GIRL/ WOMAN:
Usually, secret acts are thrilling. When you like to drive on the left side of the road, you will find thrill in violating it and driving in the right side. But, the result will be against you and you may suffer with someone WHO IS ILL MOTIVED.
If you have violations with a girl WHO IS TRICKY WITH ILL MOTIVE, she may blackmail you and marry you and hence you will have to marry a blackmailer who will be blackmailing you throughout your life.
All girls will not go silently. There are some girls. If such a girl decides to marry a boy who is wealthy, she first makes him violate with her. Then, she makes this as a big issue in the surroundings as if that boy had cheated her giving the false promise of marriage. Fearing for the loss of image, that boy marries that girl and suffers by that tricky girl throughout his life.
Thus, the five minutes of violation ends in distress and longstanding sufferings. In other words, serious bondage WITH SUFFERINGS throughout your life.
(B) RISKS IF THE VIOLATION IS INITIATED BY THE BOY/ MAN:
In case a tricky boy/ man makes a girl/ woman agree using flowery words, the risk may be a disaster since the affected person is that girl.
He may give the assurance of marriage and violate with her. After everything ends, he starts to distance from her. She will be contacting him again and again to find out that he is going away from her.
During the violation, since she is exposed, she definitely loses the dignity and respect in his eyes.
He loses his thrill while talking to her again. She becomes a cheap girl in his eyes.
Therefore, he starts to consider why he should marry a girl who violated even before marriage. The offender himself expects another girl for marriage leaving the affected girl.
THIS IS MY ADVICE TO THE GIRLS:
More Than 50% Of The Boys Lose Their Interest To Marry The Girl Who Allowed Him To Violate With Her Before Marriage. They refuse to marry her. Therefore, it is very risky to allow a boy to violate before marriage WHOEVER HE MAY BE AND THOUGH HE PROMISES ON GOD FOR MARRIAGE IN FUTURE.
THEN, HOW TO LIVE?
Therefore, we need to learn how to set our priorities in life.
If we need a peaceful and target oriented life, we should not go towards such violations.
When we do not violate rules, we will never be caught in any UNWANTED ISSUES and we can live boldly and without unwanted issues.
Read this also to know how to protect the dignity of a girl/ woman.
Of course, the bodily disturbances will always be there. Every sense will always be inducing you to do the acts that give you immense pleasure for a short period. At that time, your Intelligence will become inactive because of the domination of emotions through the senses.
If we engage our knowledge in more powerful thoughts and activities, senses will not be able to dominate the knowledge.
So, we need to keep our knowledge free from vulnerability of getting dominated by the senses.
We should not engage our mind in mundane things because the same knowledge will make us engaged in wrong acts.
For example, watching these unwanted media is nothing but, watching the display of the flesh of persons. There is nothing new in seeing the flesh of many persons.
This wonderful life is not meant to waste time in seeing these nonsense. They will not allow us to sit silently and we will start to look for the opportunities to do such acts in practice. Though you try to control your senses, they will always be driving you in trying for such acts.
You may say that watching them is also gaining of knowledge, but, unproductive and dangerous knowledge that will DEFINITELY drag us into a problematic life.
WE CAN’T SEE ANY GIRL OR WOMAN OR EVEN OUR CLOSE RELATIVES WITH DIGNITY. Our sights will be contaminated and hence we will always be looking for opportunities with whoever we get.
This disturbance will not allow you to perform productive acts. Our brain will prefer having exposure to these unwanted things only and hence it will not engage seriously in studies or job or in trying for a job.
For example, if I give you your college book and ask you to read it when you are watching your favorite star’s recent movie, will your mind engage in studying? No chance for that because it is engaging in more preferable activity as chosen by you.
Therefore, everything depends on our preferences in life.
Certain things in life will automatically and legally come to us in due course of time.
You will get married automatically through your parents one day and have the opportunity of everything. No need to take efforts for that even now itself spoiling all your productive acts.
Marriage arrangements can be done for you even by your parents, but, certain other things such as studies and job will not come automatically without any efforts from yourself and your parents can’t try for jobs or studies for you. You need to put your sincere efforts. Most importantly, within a time frame.
Only if you study well in this teen age, you can complete it with high ranks in right time and get qualified for a good job.
Employers expect young guys and girls only for their job. If you engage in unwanted acts and thoughts now and get realization in forties and try for a job, you will be in disappointment because you would have become unfit for good new jobs and hence you will have to settle for substandard jobs only.
By that time, your personal image will also be in question in the society.
All the diversions you have mentioned are unnecessary and avoidable if you engage your mind only in the higher thoughts and actions. These acts will result in the wastage of reproductive fluids present in our body. It is also a resource and hence it should not be wasted.
During this act, our body nerves become permanently weak that may continue even at the time of marriage.
And, because of these unwanted activities, many guys and girls lose interest in marriage with an opposite gender. So, he / she may have chances to disappoint the spouse in the interactions.
Particularly, disturbing the organs will make apparent changes in females and hence girls should totally avoid these unwanted acts.
DECENT LIVING-DECENT IMAGE-PEACEFUL LIFE WITH ALL RESPECTS:
Therefore, from today onwards, think of being truly a decent person with decent habits for a decent and peaceful living.
Human life is special and a rare opportunity to prepare for getting relieved from the material world’s painful life.
Instead of doing this, do not waste this life and become an animal again in the next birth.
Do everything legally with the spouse after marriage. This is the decent life.
All the best.