My husband is addicted to Social media. How to correct him?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
My question is… I love my husband very much but he doesn’t.. I believe god is seeing my pain & he will give the judgement.. He knows everything & I always pray to him sometimes ask questions want right path from him. I married a man without my parents permission. Now I m repenting but I have a 3 yrs old son.. So I don’t want to divorce him.. But wanted a happy married life with my family.. Please show me the way how can I get it. My husband is to much addicted to facebook & always online chatting with you foreign women will night 2-3 am.. Whenever I opposed it he became angry & sometimes bit me also.. Please suggest me the way to stop his addiction. We are 8 yrs of marriage life. Please I believe god will help me & show me the right path.
Actually, when a girl chooses her life on her own without the support of her parents, she may have to face such problems on her own. That is why, I have been advising in my writings that the girls may give preference to the views of parents or atleast convince them at any cost to agree for your marriage with your loved one. Because, in every stage of life, the support of the parents may be required.
If a boy or girl is in a family in which there are parents also, he/ she will never feel loneliness and hence he/ she may not need to spend more hours in internet. The vacuum created by the absence of people makes the persons surrender to the virtual people.
Read this too: Should a wife not divorce even a drinking, smoking and abusing husband?
A wife alone cannot fulfil all the vacuum filling for a husband because he can’t entertain her husband all the 24 hours. That is why, such addictions happen.
Addiction to social media will be automatically corrected when he realizes the real nature of the people involved in such virtual media. Usually, there are three kinds of people in social media:
(1) Really interested and vibrant people. These people are the majority.
(2) Those who are unable to mingle with the people in the outside world find it convenient to move freely in social media.
(3) Pretenders. There are a section of persons who use social media to befriend the people and exploit them, particularly the opposite sex. In particular, those who has the inner sexual desires, but, fear for asking outside in their locality, use these media to like-minded gather persons. They first discuss with fake identity and show real identity after knowing that the opponent is also a like minded weak person like him/ her.
(4) To show others that they have this much of friends/ fans.
(5) To promote their businesses.
Thus, there are many category of people using social media. Your husband will understand this in due course of time when he faces such people and become controlled.
Also read: What are the duties of husband in a marriage life?
However, you may take some steps to reduce his addiction. You may talk to him using an id with a girl’s name (it may even be your friend’s a/c) and make him to type vulgar messages. You should pretend as if you are interested in him. After a few days, threaten him through messages that he must marry you , otherwise, you will report to the police. Do this whenever he opens social media accounts. After a few days, he will stop such addiction considering it as risky one. Never expose in future that it was you who had discussed with him. Because, he may go to the addiction again.
Another approacch is that give him more engagement as a wife personally. Talk to him as sweetly as possible. Take him out somewhere. Go to temples . Whenever both of you go out, discuss with him sweetly. Appreciate him if he performs his duties properly. Thus, show better engagements to him.
Usually, those who use social media sparingly use it for very long years. Whereas, for those who are addicted to social media, they will start to feel their social media addictions boring and unproductive after 4-5 years. Because, the life is changing and it is giving us more and more engagements and experiences.
I do not use social media to befriend others. I use it only for preaching activities and business promotion. That is why, I am able to sustain for long years. Unproductive usage will become boring within a few years. Your husband too will feel so in future. Don’t worry.
Therefore, give more sweet engagements to him and he will reduce the addiction in due course of time. If he does not correct himself, follow the first method of pretending to him as if a girl is loving him.
All the best.
Also read: What is the reason for some children’s violent behaviour during the adolescent age 13 or 14?