IS CANCELLING MARRIAGE AFTER ENGAGEMENT (BETROTHAL) SINFUL?
“Recently 1 ques give me such pain. My marriage had fixed with a devotee boy. Due to some reasons I was not agree in this marriage. However after some days marriage date is fixed. And I also agreed with my parents to marry the boy. Later my parents found some difficulties for this they reject the boy with my consent before 25 days of marriage . In the mean time near about 2 months we talk & share many things with each other. Boy & boy’s guardian still now positive about the relationship. Ques is as I talk with him by considering him as a future husband & now it will not happen. Will it added karma? Boy &boy’s guardian feeling sad . For their sadness will it added karma ? Pls reply.”
It depends on the reason for which you cancel the marriage.
CASE-1: PERMITTED REASONS & NOT SINFUL
If the cancellation is because of valid reasons, it will not add to karma.
Instead, it shows that you have escaped because of your past good karma and God’s blessings.
See, cancellation before marriage is permitted even before the muhurtha (marriage time), ie, even on the day of marriage if there are valid reasons.
(IS THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN A VEGETARIAN AND NON VEGETARIAN ADVISABLE OR NOT? READ HERE!)
In Indian culture, particularly, in South India, on the day before marriage, in the evening, the groom and bride are taken for a car procession in the area where the bride and groom live.
The car will move slowly from a nearby temple and reach the venue of marriage that is going to be conducted tomorrow.
The purpose of this procession is to show to the nearby resident people that these two persons are going to marry tomorrow and if anyone knows any serious violation of discipline by anyone of the two, it can be informed to the family of either the bride or groom.
This helps the family of the bride or groom to stop the marriage before it is performed tomorrow.
(Why many boys and girls hate marriage now a days? How to guide them? KNOW HERE!)
Even in the Christianity, there is a system of announcing the marriage arrangements publicly in the church during weekly assemblies. The father of the church announces to the visitors that they can raise any objection if they are affected with this marriage arrangement.
Thus, there is no guarantee for the marriage to be successfully performed till the last minute before marriage.
Our culture allows to cancel the marriage if the arrangement happen to be of wrong choice.
In case there are genuine reasons, even the postponement of marriage is allowed. Eg: the groom has to come from another country and he could not get flight, or the bride or groom is not physically well and hospitalized, the parents need more time to arrange for money, etc.
(IF A PERSON HAS THE KARMA (FATE) OF INTER CASTE MARRIAGE, HOW CAN HE AVOID IT? READ HERE!)
CASE-2: UNPERMITTED REASONS & SINFUL
If the marriage is cancelled because of invalid reasons, it is sinful and adds karma/ sin.
For example, your parents won’t have properly enquired about that boy before engagement and now finds that they are not up to the mark in status compared to your family. This is also wrong because they did not lie to your parents. It is your parents’ duty to enquire and think well before engagement.
In case a girl or boy loves anyone, they should clearly take a decision. If the parents compel them to marry someone else and you agree first and get engaged and then cancel the marriage to marry your lover, it adds karma/ sin to you.
The boy or girl with whom you got engaged might have developed imaginations about you. So, cancelling for your selfish reasons adds karma of disappointing a person who came forward to marry you.
In some cases, of the marriage is cancelled, he/ she may face difficulties to fix his/ her marriage again because others may like to know why the previous marriage was cancelled.
(Are marriages made in heaven? Should a girl trust a boy who says that he will marry her ONLY IF he gets job (OR) destiny permits? READ HERE!)
So, a boy or girl should take clear decision in marriage. They should be clear to marry either the one loved by him/ her or the one arranged by the parents.
If you decide to marry someone, do stick to that. Think well before giving consent to your parents. Take even 1-2 months time to decide.
Your unclear decisions give mental agony and status issues for many, including the parents of both the families involved and the boy or girl who was affected by your decision.
And, if the girl or boy has any diseases / disabilities like impotency that are barriers for married life, he/ she should definitely avoid marriage or they should marry the persons having similar diseases or disabilities.
Or, tell your issues clearly to the parents of bride or groom well before doing the engagement.
Even the actual earnings, work styles and timings, loans, priorities in life, etc should be revealed to the concerned persons of both the sides before the engagement.
Not revealing them and projecting yourself as a perfect person is sinful because it gives a wrong picture about you in their mind to take wrong decisions.
You need not tell about your past failed love if you are 100% confident that you can forget that past and can show full love and attention to the girl/boy you marry.
So, my advice to the youth is: Take clear decisions and reveal that to your parents in advance. Do not fear. Revealing is better instead of adding sins by cancelling the marriage after engagement.
You need truthfulness and boldness to act so. Be genuine.
In your case, you have not given clear reasons for cancellation. I have listed all reasons. One may suit you. Take that as my answer. The questioners should be very clear with necessary points when they send their questions.
All the best.
(10 TIPS TO SAFELY FIND A MATCHING GROOM FOR A GIRL! READ HERE!)