Why many boys and girls hate marriage now a days? How to guide them?
Now a days, the boys and girls who like to remain unmarried preferring the bachelor life is increasing. There are so many reasons for that. I like to explain them in detail.
Let us see one by one:
(1) TASTING THE HIGHER TASTE OF GOD’S SERVICE:
I have noticed that some devotees have no clear opinion about entering into marriage life. After enjoying the higher taste of the devotional way of life, some devotees start hating all the material things and like to settle in the temples and serve there. They even skip their marriage in haste but go on fighting between senses and mind! But there should be a valid/ sound reason for skipping the marriage life. It should not be in haste!
When there is a higher taste, we lose interest in a lower taste. It is natural. The problem arises only when a person is confused that Spiritual life and Material life are different! If the Materials are involved in Spiritual life, everything becomes Spiritual!
(2) ISSUES WITH THE PARENTS (OR) RELATIVES:
(i) Many young boys or girls are fed up with the materialistic attitude of their family members. In some cases the family members might have misunderstood and passed seriously negative comments on a devotee that makes him/ her hate the relations and the people totally.
(ii) The money minded approach of the relatives might have caused a hatred on them in the minds of the devotees.
(iii) One or more trusted relatives might have cheated him/ her betraying the trust that causes a hatred on those relatives in the minds of young boys/ girls.
(iv) The family might have sucked all the earnings of a devotee and left him empty that might have caused a hatred in the minds of the boy/ girl.
(v) The devotee might have some problems in learning and have scored less. The parents and relatives might have discouraged him by comparing this devotee boy/ girl with other students in the neighbourhood. This might have caused that boy/ girl to develop inferiority complex and think that he is not fit to live like others in this world. This might have pushed him to move towards devotional life hating the materialistic relations.
(3) LOVE FAILURES:
This is the most common and important reason for the boys and girls to hate marriage life. They would have loved someone with full faith that he/ she will marry her/ him. But the lover might have backtracked or cheated him/ her. Or, the parents might have separated the lovers forcibly. This makes the boy/ girl get upset with the people and they show much interest in an unmarried devotional life.
(4) PAST SEXUAL VIOLATIONS AND THE GUILT:
(i) BETRAYAL AFTER SEX: This is also the major cause for the boys/ girls to hate the marriage. They might have involved in premarital sex with the lover trusting that he/ she will marry her/ him. That might have ended in failure. This guilt may make them hate all the persons of the opposite sex.
(ii) PURPOSEFUL PREMARITAL SEX: In some other cases, the girl or boy might have involved in premarital sex willingly without caring the social norms. At a point of time, they might have faced the defamation from the society.
(iii) LATE REALIZATION: Or, the offender might have realized his/ her offences and hence developed a guilt and hence started to hate the marriage itself.
(iv) FEAR OF PAST SEXUAL OFFENCES: In some other cases, particularly girls, the offender might have developed a fear whether her premarital relations will be found out by her future husband.
(v) BLACKMAIL BY BETRAYER: In some other cases, the lover or offender might have been blackmailing the girl that he will expose her past illicit relations to her ‘would be’ or future husband. This might have made that girl to fear for marriage.
(vi) CHILD ABUSE: In a minimum number of persons, mostly among girls, they might have developed a hatred about men because of her getting sexually assaulted/ abused by one or a few males in her childhood.
FRUSTRATED WITH THE DETERIORATING TREND OF SOCIETY:
This is also a factor that disturbs the mind of some boys and girls who like to lead a genuine life with the social responsibility. But when they see the irresponsible activities and speeches of some persons such as irresponsible government servants, neighbours, politicians, policemen, corruption everywhere, etc, they get frustrated and hence they develop a negative view about the life on earth. They start to deviate from the society and also start to hate the marriage.
SEEING THE MODERN TREND OF GIRLS/ BOYS:
There is a section of boys and girls who like to lead a conservative way of life. They find it difficult to accept the modern life style of many boys and girls of today. They consider all the bys and girls are like that and hence they can not get a matching conservative girl/ boy. Therefore they skip marriage now a days.
EXPOSURE TO ADULT CONTENTS:
This is the major issue now a days among those who consider that sex is the main purpose of marriage. Before the scientific advancements, a male had to marry a girl and vice versa to know about sex and the anatomy of a girl/ boy. Therefore marriage was in very much demand in those days.
Whereas, now, boys and girls know very well about the anatomy of the opposite sex as descriptions, photos, videos, etc. Many of them also see the pictures and videos of the sexual activities of others that gives a feeling for them that they need not marry a girl/ boy to know about sex.
Therefore, it is better to avoid such media that corrupts our mind.
(3) FEAR OF FACING RESPONSIBILITIES:
Many boys and girls fear facing the increasing burden of responsibilities after marriage such as child birth, his/ her education and marriage, monthly budgets, a bondage without a chance to escape, etc.
Many face difficulties in balancing family comfortably in this highly competitive world. But this depends on our way of approach and consciousness! It is very easy to overcome it by having controlled desires, proper planning of expenses and timely implementation.
(4) NOT HAVING SUFFICIENT EARNING:
This is also a major cause for the boys and girls remaining unmarried. Decades back, the pressures on the boy to earn more to get qualified to marry a girl was not this much as existing now. Even girls have such pressures since many boys prefer earning girls. Today’s youth loses interest in marriage if they do not get their desired job or earning. They should learn the realities of this material life and see the bride or groom suitable for their earning..
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