Can a differently abled person marry without hesitation or fear?
A Girl devotee who requested anonymity asked:
“Prabhuji i have a disease named muscular dystrophy still no cure all over world… i m in relationship last 7 years… the boy is normal….we r going to marry now…somehow i convinced my parents but his parents r on unstable condition sometimes yes sometimes no….he clearly tells his parents that he will only marry me otherwise he will finish his life…. i m very depressed due to this… I dont know how to hamdle this…. i tried to relax him many times that if GOD has made our couple then we will be def together…v have consulted many drs. all said that medically v can go for mrg….i dont know whether a differently abled has a right to marry…. but now its not possible to live without him….there is regulat interaction between both side parents…. his parents r not agreeing with their hearts..plzzz prabhuji tell me what should i do…. n plzzz as girl keep my name secret…”
REPLY:
Who said that differently abled persons should not marry? They too have feelings and desires to be loved and hence they have every right to marry.
However, I have some suggestions for differently abled persons. Please take this in right perspective:
Of course you too are similar to normal people in all aspects. However, this selfish world has a character. If the opponent is weak, it will try to ill treat him.
(Will marriage between the relatives give differently abled children? READ HERE!)
There may be a few exemptions. Even among the normal people, if a person is a silent guy, many others will speak that he is pretending as a silent man. Thus, the world is becoming selfish.
So, I always advise the youth to try their best to marry a person of the same status and nature. Because, no one will dare to ill treat another in a later stage of life. In the starting stage, everything may go smooth. But, in due course of time, he may think that he could have acted still wisely. This is the general nature of people.
Only a minimum percentage of people are truely ready to support suffering people. We should search for such good people. That is our task.
That is why, in practical considerations, it is advised that it is better for a differently abled person to marry another differently abled person. Since both of them have some difficulties, the problem of “complex” may not arise. The chanllenge can be either same or even be different for the both.
A visually challenged person may marry a person with difficulties in walking, like that. If both of them happen to be visually challenged, it is also ok though it is difficult to guide each other.
(Why it is said that one becomes complete only after marriage? READ HERE!)
If there is a gem of person who truly likes to marry a differently abled person, it can be considerd. It should just be ensured that it is not an emotional or fanatic decision, but a genuine decision.
Similarly, if an innocent divorcee or widower marries another innocent divorcee or widow, they may not have much ego problems as both of them have been affected in life. Both of them may know the problems of each other. That is why, in many cases, the second marriage becomes successful.
Now, what to do if a differently abled person likes to marry a normal person (or, vice versa)?
They can proceed, but, it is good to do some prior tasks before marrying.
What are they?
(Is Cancelling Marriage after Engagement (Betrothal) Sinful? READ HERE!)
You MUST ask the following questions to the normal person who likes to marry you:
(1) Now, I am young and you too are young. So, we may not consider the responsibilities involved in the married life between a normal boy and differently abled girl and hence we should not enter in to marriage without forecasting the responsibilities. Have you reviewed the responsibilities? Will you remain as the same boy then too?
(2) Now, as I am young, you may not take my physical problem as serious. Can you be like this even when we advance to 40+ or 50+ in age? What is the guarentee that you will not review later?
(3) Of course, we love each other. But, willyou give the same importance for me even when your parents apply their influence in our life in later part iof our life?
(4) Are you aware that the life of a differently abled girl will go in dark if you dilute your stand in our latter part of our life?
Ask these questions to him. Also get promise from him that he will remain as he is now in the above four matters even in his forties.
Do not hesitate to discuss these things with him. Prevention is better than cure. And, you have to educate him about all pros and cons and then allow him to decide in a balanced way. If you fail to remind these things to him now itself, we only will be affected in future.
Allow him sufficient time to review his stand. If he agrees and promises, marry him. No problem. You have every right to marry. So, do not worry.
If he does not agree, the world is wide. Your future husband has already taken birth somewhere. It may be this boy or some one else as decided by the Lord.
So, be a wise girl and discuss everything to him and then marry him happily.
Best of luck.
(Is marrying a boy who loves two girls and like to marry both, safe? READ HERE!)