What is the reason for some children’s violent behaviour during the adolescent age 13 or 14?
A mother asked: “I am from Bangalore. My problem is very critical. My son was a soft boy since childhood. But, when he came to 9th standard, he started to act violently and gets angry for everything. We have not given any spritual inputs to him and he does not like to come to temples and remains at home. Now, he suddenly comes and violently hugs his parents (me and my husband), that is very painful for us. Sometimes, he holds our head and shakes it fast. We understand that this is out of his love with us. But, what is the reason for children’s violent behaviour? Previously he was very soft in his activities. Now, he seems to be tense always. His concentration too has come down in 9th standard. Is he having any psycho problem? Kindly clarify why he acts like that. What shall we do now? I will act upon your advice”
He is not a psycho. He is perfect. This is the problem for most of the parents when their school going boy/ girl attains the age of 13-14. Even my sister’s son acted like that and now alright.
When a child attains the age of 13 or 14, his male/ female harmones start secreting more. For boys, the harmone TESTOSTERONE starts secretions. For girls, PROJESTERONE/ ESTROGEN starts secreting. When these harmones secrete, the body of the boy or girl will be very active and he/ she will feel a new kind of pleasant feeling. His/ her blood circulation becomes very active. Therefore, he/ she is unable to regulate his/ her activities and hence he/ she acts violently.
In this age, he/ she usually does not like to hear the advices. He/ she is not able to concentrate in the school subjects, as these harmones always induce them to concentrate only in the activities that give pleasures to them. Therefore, they do not give importance to the subjects.
The students will be like this between their ages 13-17 only. When they attain the age of 18 or 19, their harmone activities become stabilised and hence they become normal persons like others. Their violent activities come to an end.
In this age, every boy and girl would expect that others should appreciate and praise his/ her beauty/ talents. SOME of these early teen boys and girls will be happy if they are loved by opposite sex. That is why, SOME children of that age do not object if any relative/ family friend exploit/ abuse them wrongly. Because of this, there are more crimes against childlren in this world as the parents believe that the relatives and friends will never do wrong. That is why, our scriptures advise us not to allow the girl children to be touched by others once they attain the age of 8.
Therefore, the parents should keep vigil on the activities of their children between their ages of 13-17. This is the age in which their knowledge of “which is right and which is wrong” is hidden by the harmones. This is the age in which the nerves conquer the ethics! If the parents do not monitor and advise the children in these five years, there are 50% chances for their children involving in prohibitted activities.
These problems are not existing in all the boys and girls, but, atleast with 50% of the boys and girls. Boys are affected more than girls by these harmones, as girls usually are regulated in our society from mingling with others freely.”
Therefore, don’t worry. Your son will become alright in just 2-3 years. Be patient till that. But, watch his external activities silently and if he goes on wrong route, advise like a friend or take him to a counsellor in the beginning itself.
Read this also: I, a boy, have the thoughts of being a girl. What to do?
You can put your son to be in the group of devotees, as this will reduce his violent behaviour. He will start to see girls with respect in temples. And, ask him to chant God’s Name atleast 108 times daily. Let him read books or articles about God during these days.
Thus, you can maintain him till he attains 18 and thereafter, he will become normal as his harmones would have come to a stabilized state.
Show sufficient love to him during these critical ages and bear his acts. There are some medications in the form of tablets to make him non violent. However it is not necessary as one should wait till he crosses the critical age of 17. If he continues so even after that age, one can approach the doctor.
Hope this helps. All the best for you and your son.