Will marriage between the relatives give handicapped children?
A woman who requested anonymity asked like this:
“I love your counsellings and you are really godgiven for those like us who have no one to verify our activities. your approach is a mix of modern and traditional in following traditions. this is just amazing and rare in this world.
my problem is, i want to marry any devotee though my parents are compelling me to marry my uncle. but, my uncle is a very nice guy and he will keep me very well i know. he has no bad habits, he does not know how to show anger, etc. he has faith in god also. but, i fear the children will be handicapped if we marry within close relations. i have seen doctors telling this in t.v. i like to marry my uncle but at the same time i fear for handicapped children. please please answer my question and it will help me to decide. Thanks.”
I strongly support marrying within relatives if the groom/ bride is a very good boy / girl and you do not get any trustworthy boy/ girl outside.
There are many advantages in marrying within relatives:
(1) The girl/ boy is very well known to us. If he/she is not pious and disciplined, we can reject him/ her, and if he/ she is pious and disciplined, we know that very well and hence we can enter into marriage without fear. In brief, we are sure about the qualities of the “would be”.
(10 TIPS TO SAFELY FIND A MATCHING GROOM FOR A GIRL! READ HERE!)
(2) When we marry unknown persons, there are some risk that he/ she may be a liar who have lied to marry you at any cost. Whereas, the relatives can not lie because, they are well known to us since birth.
(3) In case there are any problems, we can boldly ask the relatives. We may not be that much bold in the case of other people.
(4) The husband or wife may fear for the relatives and hence they may treat their spouse well fearing the questions of relatives.
(5) As that groom or bride is our relative since our birth, he/ she is already like our close friend and we have every right to show love or even scold him/ her, without fear.
(6) Understanding between couples will be better among relatives.
(7) In India, divorce rate is very very less, ie, negligible among relative couples, as they have other relatives to sort out their problems.
(8 The girl need not fear to go to another house to live after marriage. She can comfortably enter the husband’s house as it is already the familiar house for her.
(9 THE COUPLES CAN SCOLD EACH OTHER, LOVE EACH OTHER AND QUARREL WITH EACH OTHER…. IN ALL CASES, THEY WILL NOT TAKE it SERIOUS BECAUSE, THEY ARE CLOSE RELATIVES AND THEY CAN ADJUST EASILY, COMPARED WITH UNKNOWN PERSONS.
(10) Marrying among the relatives was followed in the past for 1000s of years, even during the period of Krishna’s avatar. We are giving up this good practice because this kaliyuga makes us face more and more issues in life.
(11) Doshas in the horoscope will not affect the couples much if they are close relatives. Overall, the divorce rate is less among devotee couples.
(IS MERCY KILLING ALLOWED BY INDIAN SCRIPTURES? WHY? READ HERE!)
WILL MARRIAGE BETWEEN THE RELATIVES GIVE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN?
The Opinion of the doctors is that the children may be handicapped.
It is also a magnified truth only. I am not speaking blindly. I am speaking with the data.
DOCTORS SAY: IF YOU MARRY A NON-RELATIVE, THERE ARE CHANCES FOR 3% OF CHILDREN TO BE HANDICAPPED. IF YOU MARRY FROM AMONG THE RELATIVES, THE CHANCE OF HANDICAPPED CHILDREN INCREASE JUST TO 6%. THAT IS, ONLY 3% OF INCREASE IN THE CHANCES TO GET HANDICAPPED CHILDREN AMONG RELATIVES.
DON’T FORGET THAT THERE ARE STILL 94% CHANCES FOR CHILDREN TO BE PERFECT. 94% IS A VERY BIG PERCENTAGE AND NEAR TO 100%.
DON’T FORGET THAT EVEN NON-RELATIVE COUPLES HAVE THE CHANCES TO GET 3% OF HANDICAPPED CHILDREN. THEY ARE NOT IMMUNED FROM GETTING HANDICAPPED CHILDREN.
(Read this post in our Another site: Is it sinful to remain single for ever? READ HERE!)
SO, THE RISK OF GETTING HANDICAPPED CHILDREN IS THERE IN BOTH THE CASES. SO, DON’T WORRY.
If they say that 50% of children among the relative couples are handicapped, we can avoid relative marriages. But, why should we skip a very good girl or boy, just because of this 3% of increased risk?
So, if you find a good girl or boy among relatives, and if they like to consider you, do not hesitate to marry. Just say YES and enter into marriage life with positive mind.
Remember! Getting a handicapped child is fixed by the karma network (destiny) itself. If a person is destined to get a handicapped child, he will get though he marries a non-relative girl.
Whether you marry a relative or non relative, Better get medical advice from a doctor by testing the blood of both the boy and girl. Checking horoscopes of the both and getting medical reports about their eligibility for children and their health, are very important before marriage.
(Can a wife refuse to spare her earnings for husband’s family? READ HERE!)
IN CASE THE AVAILABLE RELATIVE HAS BAD CHARACTER (OR) NOT A EARNING BOY (OR) HAVING ANY OTHER SERIOUS KNOWN PROBLEMS, YOU NEED NOT MARRY HIM/ HER AND YOU CAN GO FOR OTHER PERSONS.
THE ABOVE ADVICE IS ONLY FOR GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS AMONG RELATIVES.
THIS ADVICE WILL NOT BE APPLICABLE FOR THOSE WHO LOVE SINCERELY AMONG NON-RELATIVES.
I suggest to try first within relatives if the family and boy/ girl is good. If not possible, try for other people. This has been the system in India for 1000s of years in which there was no divorce, but they lived with ADJUSTMENTS & THE SUPPORT OF RELATIVES.
The divorce rate increased only when marriage with unknown and distant persons started seeing the western countries.
Indian tradition gave first preference for marriage within the relatives.
Hope you are clear about whether the marriage between the close relatives give handicapped children.
(What is the reason for some children’s violent behaviour during the adolescent age 13 or 14? READ HERE!)