What a girl should do if a boy loves herself and another girl also?
ACTUAL QUESTION:
A Girl Employee who requested anonymity asked like this:
“im trying to b a devotee bt facing sm problms… im working as a lecturer in clg…i love my colegue and he expressed his love and v wer in relationship… bt den he broke up wid me by saying dat v belong to different caste n he cnt hurt his or my parents… i respct him a lot… n aftr dis i even loved him n respected him more…. Bt den i got rumours from colegues dat he love someone else…. another coleague from our clg…. bt i nvr belived dis… He nvr helped me in public whn ever i hd problms in clg…. bt last week whn dat gl is facing some trouble he took a stand for her n fought for her…. This behaviour of his started a battel inside my brain n my heart… my brain says dat he hs cheated me bt my heart still trusts him n still love him a lot… My parents are searching groom for me… wht shoud i do? Hw shoud i behave wid him?? Just as a colegue norml…as if nothing has happend?? Coz he jst behaves like dis wid me…n dis hurts a lot…my heart n brain are continusly fighting wid each othr… cnt servive wid dis more… plz help me… how to handle dis? Cnt decide whether he is honest or cheated me…hw to deal wid him? Coz v both are in same dept so can’t avoide him more…. Plz help me…. n plz dnt mention my name if u r posting dis…. Hare Krishna…
REPLY:
This is natural for you, but, this is the mentality of : “If I don’t get one, no others should get that”.
When someone leaves us, we consider it as our failure.
But, it may even be a relief for us.
There are different types of persons. Some may be selfish;
Some may befriend others only for some gains;
Some may have the hobby of befriending and deserting;
Some may befriend only the opposite gender to try for violations.
If someone pretends as our friend with some ill motives, he may desert us at any time if we do not succumb to his tactics.
We may not know his ill motives, but, we will be crying for his desertion.
But, if we have good fortune, we will escape from him/ her even before we officially commit with him/ her.
But, the tendency of many people is that they consider union as fortune and separation as misfortune.
This is not always right.
In half of the cases, even separation will be good for us and union will be destructive.
Such a separation may save us from a future destruction.
Actually, no one in this world is permanent for us. We are now living with certain people now. Tomorrow, it may change. We may relocate to some other place. And, one bad day, everyone of us will have to say Good Bye to this world in which we were living for about 70-80 years.
Though we seriously try to continue for more time, we will be pulled out of this earth when our time comes.
In this temporary world, why do you expect that your friend or lover should also remain with you for ever?
At a point of time, he remained with you. He seems to be an oscillating minded person. Since he got better girl and hence he went to her. Since he is this much of selfish, why are you thinking of him?
You need not prove that you are better than his new friend.
It is not good for your personality.
A girl should be strong when someone betrays her. If you become destabilized, that person feels happy as if his tricks were successful.
Forget that selfish boy. Feel happy that you have escaped from that boy. If that boy had left you after marriage if you marry him what can you do?
So, he has left before you develop more love on him. You seem to be possessive that is not advisable for self development.
It is right if you expect your husband to be only with you. He is your friend or lover. So, you have no right to control him.
Forget him and concentrate in productive activities. There are 100s of girls around you. Befriend some of them and be happy.
Girl – Girl friendship will be still better for you. So, befriend more girls and be happy. They will understand you better as they are also girls.
In right age marry any other good boy. The world is wide. There are hundreds of people for you. You are not alone.
Hereafter just be a colleague to him and be normal. Just speak only official things to him. Do not dig the past at any stage.
All the best.
Also read this similar topic of dealing with the past lover who married another person.
