How to manage the separation feeling when spouse is working in outstation?
A woman devotee (name hidden) asked like this:
“U have already helped me when i was in need n thank you very much for that…Now need ur help again… I am a 25 year old newly married girl… By mercy of Krsna i have got d Most caring n loving Husband n family.
Everything was going good. But suddenly my one in law passed away… My husband has taken leave for our marriage n den for d funeral for almost one n half month… So now he have work load. Because of this we both could not get time for each other. We live in joint family. I live with my in laws in our home town n he works in ………. He used to work in week days n week end he travels overnight just yo meet me…
I know his Love is genuine and he cares for me…But now a days because of his work he is not giving me time and he can not express his feelings. so I have started to feel that he doesn’t love me. How to deal with this? I understand his work pressure and I want to be his strength but I have some expectations from him that he should express his Love n give some time to me…But it’s not happening n i am getting annoyed and quarrels are started and I want a happy life… What to do?? We love each other but jst can not deal with this life’s real face… Plz guide Prabhuji… Plz hide my name… Plz help to survive my married life.. Hare Krishna”
This is just natural expectations and hence a feeling of separation by young couples.
This is what is causing problems in many families.
The husband is loving the wife sincerely. He is in an out station for work. He may be busy in his work and after returning his room tired.
He is working only for you and the children, if any.
He never showed any symptom of displeasure with you.
He cares you.
You should keep in mind that all people are not expressive in their showing love. There are many husbands and wives who love their spouse very much but do not know how to show them in words.
Your husband may also be one among them.
Therefore, he may be working thinking that he is doing good for you and the family.
The problem is, the wife too should cooperate with the husband when he is working in out station.
She has to understand his position and inability to show love as expected by her.
You may ask why he can’t show his love through Phone, WhatsApp, etc. It is not equal to showing love in person.
If a wife and husband are together even throughout the day, they will have many things to discuss, share, exchange both verbally and physically.
If the husband tries to show his love over Phone, WhatsApp, etc., how long he can discuss and how many times he will use the same statements again and again?
It is boring to show the love over media for long time.
That is why you may feel some insufficiency.
You have taken this normal situation abnormally as if he is going away from you.
This is where problem starts in such families.
Just a feeling that your husband is thinking of you in his place should give you sufficient satisfaction.
Since you expect his love in words and action when it is not possible for him in his work situation, you feel upset.
In fact, your expectation may become a disturbance to him in future to concentrate in his works. He may start to talk to you artificially just to satisfy your expectations.
Do you want it to happen?
You should expect the love and expressions be natural. He is naturally showing it now in his own way according to his situation.
Don’t make him to become unnatural and formal.
Then, the relationship will not be natural.
Just be satisfied with his direct association whenever he visits your home.
You yourself call him over phone every day at his convenient time and share sweet words with him that will encourage him and also increase the love with you.
Compared to being with the spouse all the time that may bore you, meeting and being with him in regular intervals will be more engaging and interesting for the couples.
Involve in devotion seriously and engage yourself productively.
This will help you fill the vacuum.
At the same time, if possible, look for the opportunities to set your family in his working town itself. If it is not possible, follow my above advices.
Hope this helps you.