How to find a groom for my sister who has dark complexion?
A woman devotee asked like this:
I’m writing this on behalf of my sister. My sister had completed her Engg. in 2017. Now we are looking for a bridegroom with decent profile. My sister has brown complexion. Many attempts are got failed for the past 1 yr. We have consulted priest about her kalyanabala. My sister had followed all his instructions to visit temple,worship n fast etc. We are more concern about her marriage.Wot would be the right procedure to get right bridegroom for her. One of my relatives are interested to marry her but he is a driver n doesnot have house to live. But they are good at character as per my observation. I’m interested to give my sister to him n help my sister to give a property to live. Is it a good idea or please suggest me how to approach in finding a right bridegroom. My sister is not a devotee of Krishna but follows all rituals n worships all Gods with sincere efforts. I stay out of station, the whole responsibility of finding bridegroom vests in the hands of my parents only. She doesnot wants to marry a devotee boy. Moreover many of them who came to see my sister said she is black in complexion. How should I digest it prabhu, but she is perfect in her character. We are from lower middle class family prabhu. Please help me out prabhu.
Now a days, the people looking for a bride or groom always look for the perfection in everything.
Some of their preferences are:
Good Job and salary
Owning a house,
Owning a car,
Fair in complexion,
Small age difference, etc.
So, the parents get tensed before they fix a bride or groom for their children.
One of my business friend was looking for a bride for his brother who was earning Rs.1.5 lakhs per month in an IT company in India. He was aged 31. On seeing a matrimonial advertisement of a girl, my friend called the parents over phone. They denied to consider his proposal saying that the age difference between the boy and the girl is 6 and they see only two years of difference.
Thus, though he had good job, earning and good character, that girl’s parents refused him just for the 6 years of age difference. Actually, the scriptures allow upto 15 years of age difference because men attain menopause 15 years later than women. When the age difference is less, the girl attains menopause earlier in 45-50, but, the boy will still be be active even till 65-70.
Your sister being dark complexioned is not a major issue because, there are 30-40% of boys in India with dark complexion. So, one of them will prefer a girl with dark complexion. Even among the boys with fair complexion, there are boys who prefer or accepts girls with dark complexion. So, just continue your search of a groom. You will get one.
The groom should be seen based on two major factors (1) Good earning to take care of the family, say, atleast equal or near to the pay given by the government for its employees and (2) Character and family background.
You may compromise in the earnings to some extent if the character and family is very good.
You have written that a boy is a driver having good character. If he has standard earning as a driver from a company or government, you can consider him. Having no house is not an issue. It can be bought even after marriage.
If he is a casual driver on call, he may not have a standard earning. So, you have to review that. Since your sister has done Engineering, she may accept a boy with a standard earning only. Casual drivers may not be suitable for her because they can not cope up with each other properly. Working as a driver in a good company or government will fetch him good earning and he can maintain the time schedules every day.
To assess the family background, you should visit his place of living and enquire his neighbours through your relative (not by you) without telling that you are going to consider him for your sister. Even if you tell that, no problem because it is natural.
In case you feel enquiring about a boy is difficult, you may engage a detective agency to do this job. They have many techniques to watch and find out the character of a person.
I always support marrying within the distant relatives or well known persons. The risk will be less. And, when married among the relatives, the doshas will not act severely.
Though you can advertise for groom in the press or internet, you must enquire thoroughly about the groom before fixing the marriage.
My suggestion is that you can seriously think of distant relatives or family friends or well known persons in your locality.
It is always better that the groom has faith in God though not a serious devotee, since your sister too is not a serious devotee.
In case a girl is a serious devotee, the groom should also be so. Otherwise, it may cause some problems in their life because of differences in the preferences.
Hope this helps.