10 TIPS TO MANAGE MENTAL RETARDATION OF A FAMILY MEMBER!
A Girl follower asked like this:
“Many thanks to you for your selfless service. I was purely enlightened only because of your service. Thinking no other person can help me (my family) in this matter. I wanted to tell my problem .i beg u to hide my name if u want to post this.
I have one brother (18) who is mentally retarded (5%). so from the very childhood he is very weak. he is so poor in studies also. Till now he don’t know the basic mathematics also. if we try to teach him also he doesn’t listen, he is so stubborn n he gets angry if we say him to study or to do any other work.from the very childhood he is like this only. we have consulted many doctors but no use. they said some nervous problem. he can’t able to communicate anything to anyone clearly. We can’t understand his words n sumtymes he doesn’t speak also though we force or request. And now he became like a thief by taking money from father’s pocket in his absence. By dis activities we are not able to do any work. Specially my father because he is an educational officer n he feels very bad if his son is like dis n don’t have least knowledge of wat to do n wat not to do, wat is good n wat is bad. we are worried about his future for dis. We donno wat to do for dis n how we can change him. we told him to chant sometimes he hardly does but he won’t utter the words clearly. I want to mention one thing that my parents hv blood relationship of uncle-niece. People say bcoz of dis only my brother born abnormal. so now prabhu is dis impossible for my brother coming to normal condition. Wat we should do? Please help us. Please hide my name. Dis is my sincere request. Waiting for your reply! Thank you!”
MENTAL RETARDATION MANAGEMENT
My salute to you and your family! The followers in this site who have a mentally retarded or visually challenged persons in their family are my close brothers and sisters. I personally care all of them. Why?
Because, they are doing the real sacrifice in their life. I know the pains of managiing a mentally retarded or visually challenged person. One of my relative family was protecting a son with mental retardation. They struggled a lot and they could not even go out leaving him in home. They are always children. So, they always need our personal care.
(What is the reason for some children’s violent behaviour during the adolescent age 13 or 14? READ HERE!)
So, I understand your pains and I am with you and your family and the families of such other persons who are struggling with such challenged persons!
The world of mentally retarded persons is entirely different. You can’t leave them alone because they may touch electric switches or fire, etc. The family members can’t freely move anywhere or go to outstations or family functions. They can’t maintain cleanliness in house especially in bath rooms. Seeing such a mentally retarded children every minute may change the psychology of all the family members to some extent and these family members can’t involve in any celebrations that their friends and neighbours enjoy.
Ok, Because of the karma/ destiny/ fate of your family and all the individuals, you have got the assignment to protect such a mentally retarded boy. All your family members should have stood the reason for any person to get mentally affected in your previous births. That is why, all of you have been given this task of protecting that boy.
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So, this is due to the karma/ destiny/ fate of the family members. So, we have to clear that karma. So, we are in a position to bear that karma/ destiny/ fate. If all of you escape from this karma in this birth by deserting that boy, all of you will be given another birth in which you have to protect another mentally retarded person. So, it is better for all of you to clear your negaative karma IN THIS BIRTH ITSELF. This will give you a good status after death.
HOW TO MANAGE MENTALLY RETARDED PERSONS?
There are many options to be followed:
(1) If you are financially alright, you may engage a servant maid to take care of that boy. This will be the best option if you are capable.
(2) You may admit him in a Special School for the persons with mental retardation. This will free you from the responsibility of caring him for atleast 6-7 hours a day. These children should not be admitted in normal schools. There are special schools in almost all cities. You can choose one among them.
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(3) You may admit him in a PAID HOME for the persons with mental retardation. It should be a decent home that honours the patients admitted in their home. You should visit that home regularly and ensure he is taken care well with dignity. He will be happy if you give your love to him. There are some people who run homes for orphans, persons with mental retardation, etc, only with a motive of collecting funds from other countries and they do not show sufficient love and care to the residents. Therefore, If you admit in such free or unpopular homes, they torture such mentally retarded persons. So, do not admit in free homes unless you are sure that it is very good and run by kind hearted persons and staff.
(4) Do not force that boy to follow Devotional rules seriously like you do. Just tell him to chant Lord’s names. Let him chant whenever he is in mood. Otherwise, do not force. Because, they will not have steady mind to follow the schedules sincerely. Take them to devotional/ spiritual lectures/ classes. Let him hear them. Let him hear devotional songs in temples or in other media.
(5) Take the treatments regularly. Though mental retardation by birth can’t be completely cured like normal people, it can be kept under control. So, take regular treatments and give the prescribed tablets regularly.
(Also read THIS POST: I have selfishness, ego and find fault on others. How to correct this nature?)
(6) Arrange a separate portion in your home and train him to live in that portion. Let him be free to watch television, play games in smart phones, Do drawings, Play board, Play music, etc. This will give him independent atmosphere that will make his psychology healthy.
(7) Do not create inferiority complex in him by speaking about his issues publicly with others. Let him be normal as a family member.
(8) Though he is violent some times, his condition can be improved by admitting him in practice sessions for the people with mental retardation.
(9) Make a sizable savings for him every month because after the life time of the parents, he can be managed by you by admitting him in homes. Savings for his future needs is very important.
(How Can a Transgender live peacefully in this world? READ HERE!)
(10) Allow him to play with the same age group of normal people. Tell those children not to accuse him, but to tell you, if he causes pain to them in any way. If they complain to you, politely advice him.
These practices are enough now. He is a special boy. So, he can’t behave like us. So, try your level best to educate them the basic needs of life. Let him accept whatever he can.
So, bear the karma to avoid further births. One thing is sure: The Lord will be double happy with you if you continue to do your duties to that special boy. You are close to the Lord. So, just do your duties to your brother and also follow devotion whenever time permits. Do not give up your duties of serving that boy because your karma/ past sin is getting reduced day by day. Realize that.
Follow any of the above options. Also pray to the Lord to stop the reactions of your past karma/ sins within this birth. The power of your devotion will make wonders in your life.
Let me too pray to the Lord to give all of you a life with peace and bliss.
(Also read: Upset with selfish world? Why it happens? What to do?)