HOW TO DEAL WITH THE JEALOUS PEOPLE WHO HURT OR CHEAT US?
COUNSELLING:
“A male follower” asked like this:
“ Sir, i have been following ur ports since 6 months, ur posts are versatile, contains solutions for religious as well as practical problems. i have heard that best thing we can give to others is our time because once we spend it we wont get it back, u hav been spending ur precious time for people like us, it is very great of u.
My question is,how to deal with people who hurt u and r narrow minded and who feel jealous of u. because by loving them again and again, we become fools, and by hating them our mind gets spoiled. how to deal with such people? hare krishna.”
REPLY:
I fully agree with you.
Only solution for this is to protect yourself as much as possible. You can never see a clean and generous world in this kaliyuga. As per the descriptions of this kaliyuga, three fourth (3/4) of people will show jealousy on us, hurt us or cheat us. Since this is the UNAVOIDABLE trend of this world, we only have to try to insulate ourselves from such jealous / hurting / cheating persons!
The best way of responding to them is BEING SILENT. Now, it is the time that will make them understand in due course of time and ask forgiveness from us.
Let me try to explain this trend with a few of my own experiences. It will be helpful to you:
I am the close example for a person who have faced plenty of betrayals and hurts. I am trying my level best to think positively about the society this kaliyuga. But, the reality is existing.
Also read: Upset with selfish world? Why it happens? What to do?
I have helped many people in their life. But, most of them have cleverly acted as a humble and needy people till they get the help, but they have changed selfish when they became successful in life. For them, I was like a tissue paper. After cleaning their back using me, they threw me away. They used me for their selfish motives of getting some benefits and then escaped.
For example, there will be many men and women standing for bus with me in bus stand. A person would come showing his face like helpless. He would say: “Sir, I am from Villupuram. I came to this city for attending interview. I lost my money while travelling. So, I have no money for paying the bus ticket to return my home. Can you help me by giving 50 Rupees?”
I would think my past. “Oh, I have remained even without a single rupee many times. Now I am alright. Now, this boy is suffering. So, let me help him”. Then, I have given the amount he asked. But, the next day also, the same person was saying the same statements to another passenger in the same bus stop. On seeing that, I understood that he was a fraud and pretending as if he lost his money and thus earning huge amount daily.
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At that moment, I thought: “How important that 50 rupees for me as I have struggled even for one rupee in my past? Why could not have I said NO to his request yesterday?”
Thus, I have faced so many cheating incidents in life. I have arranged for jobs for some people as a help when asked by them. But, I do not know where they are now. They have forgotten my helps.
It took years for me to understand this world as it is. As one after another betrayed me, I took a decision one day. “I must help only after ensuring their genuine intentions. I should not help anyone instantly on request.”
Thus, after this decision, one day a poor brahmana came to our house and said that he has arranged for the marriage of his daughter. As he is a priest in a small temple, his earning was very less and hence even the house management was difficult for him. So, he requested me to donate something for his daughter’s marriage.
Also read: HOW TO AVOID BEING DISTURBED BY THE SUFFERINGS OF OTHERS?
I became alert. Because, many bogus persons are coming telling like this in India. So, I told him: “Please give your house address. I will visit tomorrow and after confirming, I will do a sizable help”
He gave and thanked me and went away.
Next day, I went to his very small hut. He called his daughter who is to get married. She seemed very simple because of poverty. She showed her marriage invitation. I then asked them to wait for 10 minutes and I went out. I enquired two of his neighbours. Both of them confirmed that the brahmana had arranged for his daughter’s marriage and is struggling for mobilizing some money that is shortage for him.
So, I came back to the brahmana’s house. I gave a cheque for Rs.10,000 to him immediately. And, I also purchased a simple silk saree for that girl and blessed her. She shed tears from eyes with gratitude. After that, I went for the marriage of that girl that was conducted simply in a temple. While returning from the marriage, I asked that brahmana: “Have you finished all the expenses comfortably?”
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He said that he faced Rs.2000 as shortage as he has to give that amount for the the general store after the end of marriage. I enquired that general shop and confirmed that the brahmana had to pay Rs.2000 as balance of payment for the goods purchased for marriage. So, I directly gave Rs.2000 for that shop owner and returned.
Now that brahmana had finished the marriage simply without even a single rupee of loan.
Thus, I had great satisfaction that I helped that brahmana after confirming his genuinity. As I had confirmed his genuinity, I did not fix any limits for helping him. Because, Lord will be very happy if we help for the marriage of a poor brahmana girl. Because, such brahmanas are serving in temples for some meagre earnings that are given by devotees as tips on the plate.
So, my point is, if you remain vigilant , you can avoid being hurt by others. If anyone hurts you, do not hurt him back. Just be silent and continue to do your work. They will hurt you once or twice or thrice. After that, they will vacate the space.
Also read: HOW TO AVOID ANGER, UPSET AND FRUSTRATION IN LIFE?
If you expect all others like yourself, you will be disappointed. Because, there are different kinds of people in this society. Most of the people will not like you if you come up in life faster than him. They can remain comfortable with you only until you are below their status and do whatever they instruct.
This SUPERIORITY COMPLEX and CONTROLLING MINDSET are present in all the people. They can not bear if anyone is becoming better than them. Their own children alone are the exemptions.
You have asked: How to deal with them?
I ask you: What will we gain by retaliating them?
So, best thing is neglecting them. They may be able to bear if we speak back. But, they can not bear if we keep silence even in extreme situations. It will touch their ego. So, they will vacate that space.
Also read: I have selfishness, ego and find fault on others. How to correct this nature?
No one in this world has come down in life just because of forgiving and keeping silence. It is also one of the management technique. ie, keeping silence when the things go against the normality. This is to avoid further damage.
For example, I will never get elated when I get any support from anyone. And I will never lament if anything is taken away from me. For me, both the gain and loss are the same. I am telling what I feel about myself. I will take everything as the action of Lord. This will give peace for us.
So, learn to accept these betrayals, accuses and jealousies as natural in this kaliyuga. We can not live without facing them as they are spread everywhere.
Let us be patient. On seeing our patience, others will change. Atleast gradually.
Also read: HOW TO CORRECT OUR NATURE OF GETTING ‘JEALOUS’ ON OTHERS?