I have selfishness, ego and find fault on others. How to correct this nature?
Kindly help me…I am always judging people in my workplace and around me and instead of appreciating their good I always criticize them in my mind. How can I see only the positives in people and become more tolerant and accepting towards all. Because of my nature I, feel happy and comfortable just by myself rather than being with colleagues and old friends. I think this is because of my extremely strong ego and arrogance. How to become more internally purified so that I am not so selfish. No matter how much I try and pray I can’t succeed in this!! May be I need lots of Prayers from you and devotees of Krishna!! my biggest obstacles are my strong opinions and always thinking that I am right, while others are wrong. Also, how can I always give priority to others rather than just try to prove that I am right.
This nature is existing in many persons, not only you. I may not be wrong if I say that about 50% of the people have this nature.
However, it is to be corrected to lead a peaceful life.
Astrologically, if one’s Lagna is very strong and Moon is aspected by Jupiter, he may try to dominate others, particularly the persons weaker than them.
In the creations, both suppressing and suppressed people will always exist. Fortunate people correct their negatives and reform themselves.
Three points have been highlighted by you: (1) Having ego; (2) Having selfishness and (3) Finding fault on others.
First, We get ego when we think only we are perfect.
In fact, if everyone analyses himself with a balanced mind, he can find so many bad qualities in him.
How many people give space to sit when an old person is standing in a bus?
How many people help the suffering people in this world?
How many students bear if others score more than themselves?
How many devotees leave earlier after having seen the God’s deity in the temple to give space for others to see the deity?
How many persons respect the dirt coated farmers who are working hard under the sun and in the mud?
How many persons do not bargain with the street vender poor old lady/ man who is selling the vegetables at our door step?
How many persons will leave a girl unhurt if he happens to be with her in a solitary forest where no one can see them for a whole day?
How many persons who show themselves a clean person and wear decent dress in the public, clean the Public toilets properly? If you go inside the Indian Public toilets in bus stands or railway stations or in trains, you can know this!
If I start to list the ugly sides of the people, the list will not end sooner.
Every person has some unique negatives. No one is perfect in this world.
Ego comes only because no one spares time to analyze themselves deeply and realize that he too has so many negatives and bad qualities.
There is a saying in Tamil: “One can’t feel the bad odour from his own body”
How true this is!
We can feel the bad odour from others only. Not our own.
Hence this ego. We are thinking that we alone are perfect.
If you ask atleast ten persons what bad qualities you have, everyone will give atleast one bad quality you have.
Some persons would have indicated this to us in the past. But, since we can’t feel our negatives, we have thought that they are telling so out of jealousy.
Do you know, all our surrounding people are doing good to us by indicating our mistakes and negatives?
If someone indicates something to us, we should thank him and evaluate ourselves leisurely.
If his opinion is true, we should change ourselves.
If we recognize that we too have some bad qualities, we will not think low about others.
In fact, you should see good qualities of others. Though one has some bad qualities, he has some good qualities also. Including ourselves.
If you have this fact in mind, you will find yourself similar to others in having both positive and negative qualities.
For example, if one has the ego that males are superior to females, he will always suppress his wife. If he realizes that a wife can make a home beautiful and lively, he will not suppress her.
As far as selfishness is concerned, it exists in most of the people. Most of the people want only they should live well.
Also read another useful topic in this site: HOW TO AVOID ANGER, UPSET AND FRUSTRATION IN LIFE?
One of my neighbour would clean his house and throw the collected dusts/ wastes outside my house. This is his hidden selfishness. He wants his house to be clean. He does not care that the entire street should be clean.
Such persons may earn more, but, they can never have a satisfaction in life.
When someone dies in our family, we cry for that. How many persons cry seeing the pains of others?
Selfishness costs our peace. A selfish person may get a satisfaction when he safeguards himself alone, but, he can’t have the satisfaction that can be felt when others get benefitted from him.
Why even the government heads, great leaders fall on the feet of renounced persons?
Because, the society gives great respects for those who sacrifice their life for serving others.
You need not sacrifice anything to serve others. Just wish all to be happy and pray for them and do not disturb others. This itself is enough.
If anyone comes to you seeking a help, it is an opportunity for you given by God to help others. By helping others you can get purified.
Selfish life can’t give purification from our past karma and sins.
That is why, we are advised to help others.
More you give, more you will get in future. This is also the formula of life.
If one comes to you expecting your help, he is sacrificing his ego in front of you. You should encourage him by doing possible support. If you are unable to help, you may show right persons to help or atleast you can speak to him in a soothing way.
THOSE WHO ARE LEADING A SELFISH LIFE DO NOT KNOW THE REAL HAPPINESS IN HELPING OTHERS.
Why these websites to help all of you?
Because, God has given some talents and awareness to me. I can lead a selfish life by applying such talents and awareness. I may be happy, but, I can’t have a satisfaction. When I share my knowledge with others, many others may get benefitted and bless me. This will protect and give satisfaction to me.
That is why, it is said that one can see God in the smile of poor.
Therefore, instead of leading a selfish life, start to live for seeing others happy. The happiness in such a broad minded life will be outstanding. As a bonus, your past sins are also moderated.
Realize these facts and change yourself. You will find a new person in you and you will not go back to the selfish life again.
All the best.