HOW TO AVOID BEING DISTURBED BY THE SUFFERINGS OF OTHERS?
A girl devotee asked like this:
Hare krishna prabhuji.. I first of all want to thank u for the spiritual effort u put in for every devotee counseling. Prabhuji I am still not able to have control over these two big incidents. 1. When person die, the pain of his/her family. I feel immense pain for the family. I pray to Krishna to give them big hug for support and love that time. 2.when rape/murder/theft/politics played by bad ppl in family with good ones, I get so much disturbed specially by reading rape cases, I start crying and feel very scared for every women. I nvr intentionally read news, newspapers, social media breaking news. Still they come in front of me. I know prabhuji everything happens with Krishna’s will. And every soul has to face his karma.. But why Krishna made my heart so weak, he didn’t give me strength to see pain of others, when it comes to my pain given by my bad inlaws (I straight away feel depressed) I start a negative fight in my mind with good VS evil.. I can’t control myself and speak up for the one who is in pain, a victim. My immediate family and myself also, don’t like such reactions. I am really sorry, I know I’m very very bad when I start abusing ppl, I start hating them so much who did bad to someone. Oppositely I give my all love and even pray sometimes to give my good karma to him/her for calming down.. Please tell us how should I manage myself, this way I can never achieve krishna’s mercy and his abode.
I like to consolidate here for which things one should worry and for which things should not.
Briefly speaking, one should worry for avoidable things. He should not worry for unavoidable things.
(A) What are unavoidable things for which one should not worry?
If the death can be avoidable, we can worry for that. Since it is the last chapter of everyone’s life in this body, there is no meaning in worrying for the death.
(2) SUFFERINGS OF THE FAMILY AFTER THE DEATH OF THE HUSBAND:
If a male accepts a wife, he should arrange the properties and savings for the welfare of his wife and children atleast before his age of 50. This is his duty. If he does this correctly, no need for sufferings for his family after his death.
In case, a man dies without making any safeguards for his wife, the family of the husband should do their best to protect the family of that man. This is the duty on the part of his parents.
Read this also: How to get away from wrong people who are disturbing us?
In case a husband is doing a business, he should train his wife also in his business. This will help her to continue the business even after his death and run her family.
In case the wife does not have any savings or properties from her husband, and has no support from his parents after the death of her husband, she can go for a suitable job and run the family. To achieve this, every girl should study atleast till graduation.
Thus, THOUGH THE KARMA PLAYS THE ROLE IN THESE SUFFERINGS, there are many ways to deal with the situation after the death of the earning member of the family by acting wisely.
Since many women go for jobs now a days, these sufferings will be less and they can recover from them.
When the soul takes a body, it becomes conditioned. The body is always subject to many diseases. It is like a machine that becomes faulty now and then and stops functioning after a certain period.
Similarly, the body faces many diseases and sufferings. This can’t be avoided. When the body is not fit to stay, the soul leaves that body.
If we will always be healthy and living here, but another faces the diseases or death, we can worry for them. Since we too are subject to the death and diseases, we should take it as the part of life.
However, if you do not help others even when they are suffering, your conscience will question you after their death that causes worry. To avoid this, you should help as much as possible for others in your family or surroundings. When they die, your conscience will not question you and hence no pains for you.
(B) What are unavoidable things for which one should worry?
(1) IMAGE LOSS:
If you are losing your image because of your avoidable mistakes, you should worry for that because you could have avoided by being safe and disciplined.
For example, a girl can avoid the guilt of having commited premarital sex if she had been very careful in mingling with the boys. It is her mistake. Though it may be due to her karma, she could have applied her freedom to avoid that or reduce the severity of the offences.
In case, an innocent girl is forcefully molested by a man, it is the trend of kaliyuga. In this kaliyuga that is promoting sense related activities, such happenings have increased. We can not change the trend of kaliyuga. We only have to safeguard ourselves in this cruel kaliyuga. Therefore, such violations can be avoided by keeping the child or girl as safely as possible. No other way.
If a businessman is suffering with the arrest because of not having paid the taxes, he should worry for that and correct himself because he could have avoided that sufferings of image loss had he been very careful in paying the taxes properly.
Thus, avoidable mistakes can be avoided by worrying for our image loss.
Most of the problems in life come because of our excessive emotions. Excessive anger, excessive desire, excessive happiness, excessive grief – all can affect the life of a person.
The negative effects of such emotions can be avoided by a person if he believes in the karma and taking the happenings as the effects of past karma.
Emotion control is possible for everyone if he takes sincere efforts. Therefore one should worry for his excessive emotions.
(3) WASTE OF LIFE:
This is absolutely necessary. This human birth is meant for realizing his real position and his relation with the god.
We should live to cultivate our soul, not the body alone. The body should be cared just to keep the soul comfortable to follow devotion to Lord.
If we do not do this and waste our life in satisfying our senses, we lose the rare opportunity of this human birth given by the Lord.
Therefore, stop worrying for unavoidable things. Those sufferings are to be faced by everyone of us. Therefore , no need or worry.
Hereafter, take care of managing your avoidable mistakes and sufferings. This alone is important to become clean from our material contaminations.
Instead of worrying and getting disturbed, try whether you can do any help to others by arranging a job, giving money, giving moral support, etc and try to reduce the severity of their sufferings. This is the right reaction.
Hope this helps.