What are the boy’s qualities expected by the girls and their parents to marry?
A male follower asked like this:
“what are the qualities needed in a boy so that the family of a girl may marry their daughter to that boy. Is it wealth? Is it strength? Is it handsomeness? or Is it good nature? Please clarify my doubts. Thank You. Hare Krishna.”
He He….It varies from country to country. Even within country, it varies from zone to zone. Even within a zone, it varies from girl to girl.
This is the beauty of the creation of God. He has created this world with a variety. Variety of people, variety of tastes, variety of characters, etc.
You like to be prepared yourself that will attract the girls or parents of girls. If there is a single formula, I can write it. But, there are girls with 1000s of types of characters and expectations.
The most difficult thing in this world is understanding a girl completely. The boys say that their life will be happier if they understand their wife. Let me list some of the general expectations of girls and their parents. Since the way of life will be different for devotee girls and others, let me classify accordingly:
WHAT THE NON-DEVOTEE GIRLS EXPECT FROM GROOMS?
(Non Devotee Girls means those girls who do not like to be serious devotees, but just casual devotees with expectations of enjoyments.)
(1) You are thinking that girls and parents like only fair complexioned boys having English on lips. But, it is not true in all places. Remember, Krishna is not fair, but, dark. He is the most loved God by girls. If you like the example from people, the Cine Super Star in India Rajinikanth. He is not fair complexioned, but dark only. And, He does not use English much in movies, but, stylish Local languages only.
So, whether you are fair or dark complexioned, it is immaterial. If you have the features that convince others, you will be liked by all. So, first stop worrying about the colour of skin.
(2) ALL PARENTS & GIRLS now a days prefer a Groom with a good job. So, I always emphasize the young people to first get stabilized in a good job and then try for marriage. If your pay packet is good, the parents of girls will automatically come to you. So, JOB is the most important aspect one should gain in life. Without job, never marry a girl.
(3) Most of the parents will hesitate to give their girls if the boy is doing a small business. They may fear that his business may face ups and downs. But, if he is a big businessman having a car and own house and Bank balance, they believe that he is doing business successfully and hence they dare to give their girls to that boy.
(4) Though a boy is having plenty of earning and wealth, the society expects him to exhibit his wealth to the outside world through comforts. Though being a billionaire, if he leads a very simple life without vehicles, bungalows, etc, the parents of girls doubt that businessman as if he is not successful in his business and hence he leads a very simple life and hence the life of their daughter may become unstable. So, if you like to do business, make it grow faster before marriage.
(5) In older days, the girls and boys married even if their age difference was even 10-15 years. But, now a days, the girls want boys having just one or two years of difference. So, see a girl having just 1 or 2 years of less age.
(6) Most of the girls like the boys to be jovial who is always cutting jokes. So, though you speak about the God, you have to speak it in cordial and enjoyable manner. Only then, you can attract the audience. So, just because you are a devotee, you need not lead a sorrowful and dull life. Be cordial , mingle with your family freely and cut jokes. Be very practical in understanding the expectations of today’s youth.
(7) Though you are very cordial, you should have self confidence. Girls will not prefer the boys who is always speaking negatively. So, just believe that God will take care of everything and just perform your duties happily without dullness.
(8) Girls and their families will not prefer boys who are always talking unwanted things. They prefer boys who speak whenever needed and concentrate in his duties keeping himself busy. If the husband remains with his wife all the 24 hrs, the wife herself will get bored now a days. They need diversions and relaxations. So, do not be a loose talker and speak whenever it is required.
(9) Usually, girls and parents expect their groom to be very careful in spending and save for his family. However, do not be very calculative to spend for your wife. She may not like it.
(10) Girls and their families may expect the boys to help their wives in their duties whenever needed. The husbands should understand the pains of wife and cooperate. Same applies for wife and they should understand the pains of husbands.
(11) If the boys use the cosmetics excessively for their face, hairs, etc., girls do not prefer. They want simple, but, decent boys.
(12) No girl would like to marry a boy if he is friend to many girls. They want their husbands to be their exclusive property.
WHAT THE DEVOTEE GIRLS EXPECT FROM GROOMS?
(Devotee girls means those girls who like to practice the devotional way of life seriously following the rules and reducing the bodily pleasures.)
(1) If a girl is a serious devotee, she always prefer a serious devotee boy only. So, if you want to marry a devotee girl, become a serious devotee.
(2) If a girl is an initiated devotee (who have got diksha from a guru), she usually prefers another initiated boy only.
(3) They expect that their husbands should help them in their spiritual advancement and allow them to visit temples regularly and take part in sevas.
(4) Devotee girls expect the husbands to be perfect in four major regulative principles such as No meat, No gambling, No intoxication and No illicit sex.
(5) They prefer to tour to spiritually important places along with their husbands.
(6) In the case of girl devotees who prefer to stay in temple and serve Lord, they too prefer to marry a boy devotee who is a resident brahmachari.
(7) Other girl devotees would expect to marry a boy devotee who is earning for living and also serious in devotional practices.
Thus, the expectations vary from person to person. However, the above tips are just indicative.
COMMON ADVICE FOR BOTH THE DEVOTEE or NON DEVOTEE GROOMS OR BRIDES
This advice is common. Many girls may love their husbands (or, vice versa) very much if they satisfy their bodily needs whenever they are disturbed. This issue creates problems in the families of both devotee or non devotee couples. So, if the wife or husband needs the closeness, the spouse will have to involve in bodily relations as per PATHI DHARMA and STHRI DHARMA. Please behave wisely and practically in this matter. Unless a spouse does not prefer bodily relations, it should be given by the spouse. The restrictions in this matter is possible only if both the husband and wife have the same taste and preferences in life.
Hope you are clear now.