How should a working woman manage both the job and family burdens?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Jaya shree krishna….i want to live my life freely happily and peacefully….dis is my question how can ii live peaceful life? Actually i have get recently married which is love marriage n m livng with him happy. i have a joint family with his parents n his elder brother n wife….
i m afraid to tell everything with family members if i have to go outside n i dont like to ask if i m good why to ask them in such case i feel like dat i m in prison in simple case also i have to ask. can i go there can i go here, n dis makes my mind in tension. plzz god i want to b free..In my maitihouse there is only my mummy n grandmum n iave to go there from time to time bacause they feel sooo alone n i feel so boring. In the time of their old age, i m not available wit them. Dis makes my mind stress. In my family also due to joint family also mostly the all theworks has to b done by myself n i feel why all works has to be done by myself. In morning also, all the family members is in their bed n i have to wakeup fast n dis makes me cry. I have to face lots of problems in my office tooo….the boss always put a stict rules over me not to others because others staff can speak with him n i cannot i m afraid with him…my office duty is till at 8pm at night time n he always make a rule that i always have to stay at 8pm at night..PLZ I WANT TO GET FREEDOM HAPPY LIFE PLZ ADVICE ME PRABHU…JAYA SHREE KRISHNA.”
This is the feeling that arises when we are not aware of the real trend of external world.
You are in fact fortunate compared to many other women.
But, you are crying as if you alone are suffering.
You are not suffering in life. You are doing tight works. That’s all.
This tight schedule of works in home and office make you mentally and physically tired or frustrated.
But, it is unnecessary.
You yourself is the cause for all your sufferings.
You wanted to go to job. You are going.
You wanted to marry. You married.
You are aware that there will be many responsibilities as a wife, as a mother of children, as a daughter in law, etc.
We should live depending on ourselves only. Not others.
Of course, your family members can share some works from you. They don’t. This is the nature of everyone to entrust the responsibilities to others and be relieved.
This is how most of the working wives are living in this world.
Every working woman has to take care of household duties like cooking, washing, cleaning, making the children ready for school, teaching them in home works, rushing to the office, returning home, again household works, etc.
A working woman has to take many avatars like this.
Even in the office, she has to work hard to fulfil the tasks. Forunately, for a few women, the office happens to be a resting place, but, in this competitive world, no department/ company allows free atmosphere to the employees and they want to extract maximum works from every employee.
In home, no one will dare to take the responsibilities. They will fear that they will have to do that work for ever if they accept a responsibility. So, everyone will try to escape from new responsibilities.
The daughter in law of the family usually do not escape from responsibilities. She is in a position to bear all the burdens.
However, let me highlight a positive aspect in your life.
You are very safe in this risky world.
You have a safe family set up with many people to protect you.
You have a good husband who is not treating you normally though may or may not not help you in your household works.
You have family members to take care of your children when they come back from school and on holidays and when you are in office.
If they are not there, you will find it very difficult to manage your children.
You have a job that is longed by almost every woman. You are earning and your bio data is strong.
You can not be ill treated by others easily since you are earning and standing on your own legs.
Even if everyone deserts you, you can live in this world on your own.
Just think of the women who are sleeping on platforms and who are struggling in a family with a torturous husband.
You are really safe.
That is why, in older days, men took care of earning and women took care of family management. Therefore, neither of them faced any difficulties since the works related to earning and home managements were shared.
But, in the case of working women, they are going to the job knowing the difficulties involved in that double task.
They want family. They want Job and earning. They want peace also.
How is it possible?
You should do only the tasks that can be managed depending only on you. Not others.
Others may help or not. It is not sure. We have to be ready for that.
Just try your best to make them help in some of your assignments. Let anyone takes care of washing. Let another takes care of making the children ready for school
Even if they do not agree or understand, just plan your time well. Do all the works as per the planned schedule.
Even in office, inform that you can work till the time others work. In case you are in a key position, you can not escape like that. You have to take the responsibilities.
If everything is very difficult to manage, you may have to appoint a maid for home to do some works like washing, cleaning, etc. This will give you some relief.
If you feel suffering even after this, you should sacrifice your job and earning for the sake of peace.
In this material life, we can gain something only if we lose something.
Thus, you can earn well and make your family financially sound only if you sacrifice your rest and some peace in going to the job.
So, considering your safe situation compared to crores of people in this country, learn to face the difficulties as unavoidable. Thank the God for keeping you in a comfortable positionin life.
Also learn to manage the time for every daily assignment.
This is not your issue alone. It is faced by lakhs of working women. Learn to accommodate in this kind of tight life schedule.
All the best.