Should a wife resign her job if her husband pressurizes her?

Should a wife resign her job if her husband pressurizes her?

A woman reader asked like this (Name hidden):

“Anna, my husband works in …………….. He earns well. I work in …………………………….(a large private company). We married in the year 2012. Now, my husband is torturing me to quit my job and remain a housewife taking care of our 6 years old son. He threatens me with divorce if I don’t quit my job.  I have good growth prospects in my company that is one of the top ten co.s in India. I am confused. Since I am unable to take a decision, I will act as said by you. Please advice.”

REPLY:

Your message lacks in a few details. What is the real nature of your husband in day to life?  I should know this detail to take a conclusive decision.

Since I don’t have that information, let me give you all the possibilities.  Choose the one that fits you the most.

OK?

First analyze the nature of your husband.  Review taking time how he has behaved and taken care of you and your family so far.  Review the following:

Is he a responsible husband who fulfills all the needs of the family?

Is he a caring husband who understands your and children’s problems and pains?

Is he aware of the ACTUAL MAGNITUDE of the future needs of his family like getting an own house, children’s education, etc that cost high now a days and may increase in future?

Is he earning sufficiently to meet the above essential needs and EMIs?

Is he really worried about the growth of his son and hence ask you to quit your job? Is his worry seems to be genuine, not acting?

Has he promised you something and backtracked later in the past?

Is he of a nature of ill treating you if you quit your job?

Is he doubting that you may become superior to him and hence telling you to quit your job to keep you under his control?

Is he asking you to quit your job in a suspicion that you may develop any relations with co-staff or anywhere else?

Is he involved in any illicit affairs with other women?

Is he a drinker and torturing you after drinking?

Ask many questions similar to the above.

Now, let us review one by one.

(1) Is he a responsible husband who fulfils all the needs of the family?

If yes and feel that he will still take care of you, you can quit the job (CONDITION:  If he is earning sufficiently in government or government undertakings or in a permanent job in a good company or sound business).

(2) Is he a caring husband who understands your and children’s problems and pains?

If yes, you can value his request and quit your job. (CONDITION:  If he is earning sufficiently in government or government undertakings or in a permanent job in a good company or sound business).

(3) Is he aware of the ACTUAL MAAGNITUDE of future needs of his family like building an own house, children’s education, etc that cost high now a days and may increase in future?

If yes, you can quit your job   (CONDITION:  If he is earning sufficiently in government or government undertakings or in a permanent job in a good company or sound business).

(4) Is he earning sufficiently to meet the above essesntial needs and EMIs?

If he is a responsible guy also, you can quit your job  (CONDITION:  If he is earning sufficiently in government or government undertakings or in a permanent job in a good company  or sound business).

(5) Is he really worried about the growth of his son and hence ask you to quit your job? Is his worry seems to be genuine, not acting?

If yes, just make him happy by quitting your job.

(6) Is he providing all the needs of a wife (products and services) without using abusive words?

If yes, he is a good guy. You can make him happy by quitting your job. (CONDITION:  If he is earning sufficiently in government or government undertakings or in a permanent job in a good company).

(7) Has he promised you something and backtracked later in the past?

If yes, do not believe his request. Fight and go to job.  If he divorces you because of this issue, let it happen.  Your safety is also important.

(8) Is he of a nature of ill treating you if you quit your job?

If yes, please do not hear his request and categorically say NO. If he divorces you because of this issue, let it happen.  Your safety is also important.

(9) Is he doubting that you may become superior to him and hence telling you to quit your job to keep you under his control? Are you sure of his psychology? Has he shown it in his words?

If yes, it is dangerous.  Just fight with him politely but categorically. Do not quit the job.  If he divorces you because of this issue, let it happen.  Your peace is also important.

(10) Is he asking you to quit your job in a suspicion that you may develop any relations with co-staff or anywhere else?

If yes, it is also dangerous.  If you do not have any such affairs, ust fight with him politely but categorically. Do not quit the job.  If he divorces you because of this issue, let it happen.  Your dignity is also important.

(11) Is he involved in any illicit affairs with other women?

If yes, do not trust that guy. He has no genuine policies in his life.  If you do not have any such affairs, just fight with him politely but categorically. Do not quit the job.  If he divorces you because of this issue, let it happen.  Your social image is also important.

(12) Is he a drinker and torturing you after drinking?

If yes, PLEASE DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB FOR ANY REASONS. YOU CAN NEVER TRUST A DRINKER.  AND YOUR LIFE IS NOT SAFE EVEN NOW.  SO, just fight with him politely but categorically. If he divorces you because of this issue, let it happen.  Your life long financial security is also important.

VERY IMPORTANT:

Though you quit your job, you should not develop laziness.  You should fulfill the purpose of the quitting your job.  Develop your children safely giving ethical values and make the family like a temple following a decent, clean and devotional way of life.

THOUGH YOU QUIT, BE IN TOUCH WITH THE EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION YOU HAVE. UPDATE YOUR KNOWLEDGE NOW AND THEN ACCORDING TO THE CHANGING TRENDS. JUST LEARN AND PRACTICE WITHIN YOUR HOME. STAY UPDATED THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE.

Because, though you quit your job now, if you keep yourself updated in your field/ education, you can get a new job easily if anything happens adversely in the family, such as the sudden demise of husband, or facing a big  costly disease in the family that requires more and more money.

So, my advise to the women will be:

(1) QUIT YOUR JOB ONLY IF YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS EARNING CAN BE TRUSTED AND ALSO THE SITUATION BADLY NEEDS YOUR RESIGNATION (For example, your severe body ailments that prevents you from going to job)

(2) THOUGH YOU QUIT YOUR JOB, KEEP YOURSELF TO BE FIT TO GET A SIMILAR JOB IN FUTURE IF REQUIRED.

Hope these tips help you.  Act wisely after considering all the points.

Author: RAJAN

Having a long observation and association with all sections of people for decades, Rajan is promoting online media in different platforms including this blog website to guide lakhs of regular followers to prevent and solve their problems. He gives complete Counsellings and Tips on Medical, Health, Psychological, Women safety, Child safety, Issues in Family Relations, Love, Marriage, Personal life, etc.! His services have helped thousands of people to come out of negative thoughts and to change their way of approaching the problems in their life and hence he is considered as their trusted FRIEND to share the problems and get them counselled. He is also well known to follow strict confidentiality in his counselling services.

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