Virtual Friendships & Relationships! 10 Tips To Handle Them Properly!
One of our girl reader asked like this:
“I have some doubt. Plz clarify me. This incident happend in my life:
A year back i met a one boy in fb. He talked very gud. He respects elders and women. He adopted me as his sister. He shared every feeling with me. I tried to console him when he was in sad. So he liked my company wid him and i m also. But he had one bad habit that he was following satanism. He offended god. I tried to change his mind. I told lot of tyms to accept hinduism n follow the god and ur lyf will be glorify soon. After a long tym he left satanism. I felt happy. He is having a girl frnd.
That girl makes him sad a lot of tyms. She broke up with him. He was thinking abt suicide at that tym. And I tried to make him happy n i said plz leave that grlfrnd. Do arrange marriage. Love marriage not suits for every1. He accept my words n he said ok. After 2 days he told me that another grl loves him. And he wanted to make her as his gf. I advised him plz dont do that. U vl worry a lot. But he used a hard words to me. He said i dont want anyone s advice. This is my lyf n i knw what vl i do. It hurted me. I thought him as my own bro. After that incidient whenever he talked to me, he behaved rudely to me, he used indirect language. I kept calm n silence. I thought that he would change. But he didnt. I couldnt bear this at one tym. I shouted at him. And i said go n choose ur own lyf. Dont come back to me. He also said ok ok gud bye with too much attitude
We didnt talk each other for 6 months. But now he is texting me n he is asking that cant we live lyk before. But i couldnt accept him my bro again. I have hurted by him a lot. I m talkng to him lyk stranger means not like before. My mind is not ready to accept my bro or my frnd again. I hate him. I dont know what will i do? Plz help me.”
REPLY:
Why the people like you choose to live in a dream world? Why do you take these imaginary world serious and then suffer?
Don’t you remember that these Virtual Friendships & Relationships can be broken just with a simple CLICK on BLOCK button? After that, you can never locate them. They will be chatting with some other person.
I simply advise you to delete him from your friends list. He seems to be an opportunist! He is also a weak boy in decision making in life. He has to face so many challenges in life and then correct himself. He is taking his life very easily.
(What if others use me for their selfish motives though I help them? READ HERE!)
I like to advise you the following as you are an young girl who has to protect yourself:
(1) Friendship between a girl and boy need determination and discipline. Otherwise that friendship will not be as pure and dedicated for ever. All the boys can’t maintain decent friendship with girls. Only those who are steady minded can maintain that. As he is weak in decision making, he can not be a good friend for you. He will talk to you well when he needs consolation. After that, he will forget you. When he gets a better guy or girl, he will befriend him/ her.
(2) Usually, boys and girls like to befriend opposite sex because, this is the nature of people right from the creation of the human race. Mostly, a girl child is very affectionate with dad. A Boy child is affectionate with mom. So, this is the arrangement of the Lord. So, do not expect the friendships must last long in this kaliyuga.
(3) Though you call a person as your brother or sister, they will not equal to your ACTUAL brother and sister. When you are in distress, only your actual brothers and sisters will come to your rescue. These internet friends will not come (exept a few exemptions) as they are virtual friends. So, be truthful to your real brothers and sisters if any, or with your parents.
(WHEN &HOW THE SUPPRESSION OF WOMEN BY MEN STARTED? A RESEARCH! READ HERE!)
(4) Internet friends are virtual friends. If you fully believe the internet friends, you may be disappointed because, both of you are not known before; You do not know whether he is really a boy (or) a girl in a boy’s name; Even our relatives may come in a fake name to test us how we behave in internet. So, unknown internet friends are not equal to real friends whom we meet in person.
(5) The binding, dedication and love that we find with the face to face real friends and people in our life are more and strong compared to that we find with Internet friends. The strength of the internet friendship is not so strong like real friendship. They will have sudden rise but fade down gradually.
(6) If you need an example, we can take Anna Hazare. He had the total support of internet people. He believed them and started the movement against corruption. In the beginning, more people assembled when he announced fasts, strikes, etc. But, it faded down gradually, and in the consecutive protests, he did not get sufficient support from the same people. So, Anna team had to separate. But, Mahatma Gandhi believed the REAL people and hence he could establish a strong bond with the people. So, the bond acquired with the unknown people through internet is not so strong.
(What a girl should do if a boy loves herself and another girl also? READ HERE!)
(7) Never expect anybody to remain your associate for long. Anyone may leave you any time. So, make up your mind accordingly. This is the nature of material relations.
(8) As you are a girl, always maintain a grip and an alert and don’t allow anyone to consider you as innocent and to take advantage with you. Don’t maintain excessive discussions with the boys. Who is he to tell his personal things to you? Why could not he tell his personal matters to his real sister? Who are you to clear his personal problems? See, these are all weakness or trick on his part. He needed your company to spend time. So, he maintained a time passing chats with you. Now, he got another girl. So, he left you. He might have lost that friend also. So, he comes again to you. Should you be a victim for such a useless person?
(9) Stop these nonsenses. Be practical as a wise girl. Don’t give up your individuality for anyone. Protect your SELF RESPECT to take along with you when you marry a boy. Let your “WOULD BE” have a wife who has protected her SELF RESPECT till the date of marriage for him. SELF RESPECT & PURITY are the only gifts a girl can give to a husband at the time of marriage.
(HOW TO DEAL WITH THE JEALOUS PEOPLE WHO HURT OR CHEAT US? READ HERE!)
So, except your own brother, father and husband, don’t have excessive talks with any other male. Just end up with a HAI or HELLO. If necessary, discuss about education and career. That is enough. If any boy speaks about your personal tastes and praises you unnecessarily, don’t hesitate to remove from the friend list in social media
(10) i like to remind you that there are thousands of girls and boys who have lost their life because of excessive talks with unknown people claiming Virtual Friendships & Relationships! There are many companies and individuals who have got benefitted through the same social media.
So, whether it is good or bad for you – all depends on how you deal with the other people. They will be with you until you praise them. They will go away silently, when you are unable to express your praises due to lack of time. This is the nature of Internet relations. When we advise for their good, they will escape! For that, we should not change our attitude that is in right direction.
Today, they are with us. Tomorrow, they may not. This is the true status of Virtual Friendships & Relationships. Only those who are with us in all situations are real friends. I too am following the same advise that I have given to you. I am adding only those who are honestly and consistently supporting my efforts without an oscillating mind as my friends in Social media.
So, learn to handle the internet friends. Otherwise, you will be repeatedly disturbed. First of all, remove that boy from your friend list and be relieved. Concentrate in your studies / job.
Hope you can now handle the Virtual Friendships & Relationships Properly!
(What if others use me for their selfish motives though I help them? READ HERE!)
