How to respond if someone hurts us or act against us?
A Girl follower asked like this:
“Dear Anna I am very much pained to see my colleagues playing game in my life. I should teach lesson to them. How can I do that? Please help me”
Taking revenge is not the solution for the issue. It is magnifying the problem.
Taking Revenge is the result of anger. Most of the movies show that a hero should fight to retaliate and succeed in making the enemy down. When they fight and win in fighting, the film ends. No film shows other ways of winning. May be a few films.
(HOW TO DEAL WITH THE JEALOUS PEOPLE WHO HURT OR CHEAT US? READ HERE!)
So, people also are thinking that taking revenge by pulling a person down shows his strength. It is not so. Even kings are advised to first make peaceful efforts to solve the disputes between two countries. If that peace efforts are not honoured by the enemy, then war is recommended to save his country from enemies. Krishna and Yuthishtra tried their best to avoid war through peace making meetings with Kauravas (Duryodhana camp). War was started only as the last unavoidable option.
If this is the case even for kings, what about common man? His rules are so strict in the case of dealing with enemies. He should try his level best to avoid disputes though they come voluntarily.
(What if others use me for their selfish motives though I help them? READ HERE!)
If the situation comes in which we are not able to deal with the opponent, then, he has to approach through legal means. He should not take law, ie, physical or verbal or secret revenge in his hands.
It is not true that we actually win if we win in physical or verbal retaliation. In fact, we lose a person from our circle. If we take revenge, he may get hurt physically or sentimentally and hence consider us as his enemy. Then, hatred feeling increases. So, the situation becomes more serious.
That is why, even some marital relations, blood relations get separated.
If we forgive an offender, he may initially feel as if he has won. But, in due course of time, his conscience will question him. So, he will automatically come to us to strengthen our relations with him.
(HOW TO DEAL WITH THE POSSESSIVENESS OF MOTHER-IN-LAW ON YOUR HUSBAND? READ HERE!)
In addition to forgiving, if we forget/ ignore the offence of the people of our circles, they will become tired when they continuously fail in making us affected by their actions. People usually torture us expecting that we will be affected by them. But, when we ignore, they will lose their interest in torturing us because they do not get the pleasure of seeing us pained.
So, Forgive and also ignore the insults of others. They will later realize and become closer to us. There is no doubt in that.
This is not our weakness. This is our real inner strength.
(Should a wife not divorce even a drinking, smoking and abusing husband? READ HERE!)