How to repent for my violations before marriage and develop devotion?
A girl devotee (Name hidden):
“This question is in reference with your counselling for To what level we can interact with opposite gender before marriage? thnq so much for taking out time to guide me.
My question is as I was into bad company and ended doing THAT twice with boys I loved like anything I was into bad company what should I do repent and follow true devotion towards god because every time I pray to god am like that don”t I pray god for protection and I feel bad how can I develop true nishkam devotion towards Krishna? Pls help me.. M guilt for what I did but I dont know what should I do to develop true devotion Prabhujipls help.”
This is the purpose for which I am replying such doubts. If every girl and boy in her/ his teen age reads those contents, they can be careful in maintaining relations with the opposite gender.
Most of the offenders feel only after committing the offenses. Because, these offenses happen because of the inducement of senses and lack of self control during tempting situations.
(1) STAY AWAY FROM THE TEMPTING PERSONS:
The first and foremost way to escape from such offenses will be to avoid the situations that may risk our self control and lead us to commit offenses. This can be achieved by totally avoiding the association of the person who is tempting us to allow physical interactions. Even if he is a lover and is considered as a trusted person by you, we should not forget the fact that he is still a risky person if he requests or begs for physical interactions. If a person tries for physical interactions, he can not be included in the trusted circle, though he is your trusted person or lover. Better be atleast 3 feet away from him and never go alone with him. If he is a good guy, he will not attempt for physical interactions before marriage, or he will marry you even if you do not give space for physical interactions.
(2) NEVER MARRY THE PERSON WHO INDUCES YOU:
In case a guy (say, your loved one) tries to have physical interaction with you in spite of your refusal, he must be a weak guy having no clear objective in life. How can a girl entrust her life in marriage to a guy who is not serious in maintaining the dignity of his lover before marriage? Inducing a girl for physical needs means, he is contaminating the dignity of his future wife (if he marries, probably, he may not marry her after physical interactions with her). Therefore, even in this case, the girl should run away from him, completely stop his association and stop her plan to marry him.
Also read THIS COMPLETE GUIDE ON HOW TO PROTECT THE GIRL CHILDREN FROM MEN?
(3) BE ONLY WITH GIRLS IF YOU HAD OFFENDED ALREADY:
In case, the offense had happened (as in your case), the girl should hereafter stop all her association with boys since her failure to protect herself from males in the past is a clear indication that she does not know how to behave with males and protect herself. Therefore, she is not fit to interact freely with males. She must abandon all her association with males and be with girls more. If not, she will continue to fall in such foolish acts in future also.
(4) A REQUEST FOR ALL MALES WHO HAS THE WEAKNESS TO VIOLATE WITH A GIRL IF OPPORTUNITY COMES:
This paragraph is written with the tears from my eyes thinking of the parents in my mind. Have anyone thought of his/ her parents who are INNOCENTLY thinking that their child has gone to college/ school and he/ she is following a disciplined and cautious way of interactions with others. Your mother woke up early in the morning, prepared food for you, packed the lunch for you, helps you to leave for college/ school in time and SENDS YOU OUT WITH A SMILE IN THEIR MOUTH AND FAITH IN THEIR EYES.
Your father may be a hard worker in company/ office / business. He may not have lunch because of heavy duties. He may borrow from others to pay fees for your college/ school. Or, he may save for your fees from his salary every month and give you when you need to pay the fees.
Have you ever thought that your parents will be speaking PROUDLY about you to others in their office/ neighbours without knowing the hidden fact that you are involving in unwanted affairs and interactions with the opposite gender? Because, they strongly believe that their son/ daughter does not involve in such silly things. Just imagine how their entire hope in life will be damaged when they come to know that their child has been doing these things!
They will cry: “I never dreamed that he/ she will behave like this with others. I was thinking that he/ she will live with dignity and I can give him/ her in marriage in a decent manner. Now, what can I do having this boy/ girl who has no steady mind and sense control!”
They will feel and cry as if all their efforts for the past 15-20 years to bring you well in life, have gone as futile exercises. After that, they start to live like a heart broken parents.
Should we disappoint our parents who are leading their entire life ONLY for us?
Ok, WHAT TO DO TO ATONE THE PAST OFFENCES?
(1) First, you should resolve not to involve in such acts in future. This must be a strong resolution for entire life and you should follow it.
(2) Hereafter, mingle more with girls with high goals in life and do not speak personally to any male. Just necessary talks are enough.
(3) Go to a temple and cry in front of Lord and promise Him that you will never involve in such acts in future and beg Him to forgive you for your past deviations.
(4) Hereafter, speak limitedly and usefully. Speak more about God and involve in devotional practices seriously. Chant Lord’s names as much as possible and engage your all the available excess time in reading about Lord.
(5) Visit the nearby temples regularly and develop interest in seeing the deities and doing some services to Lord.
Past is Past. Hereafter lead a very responsible life as promised to Lord.
Leave the matter of marriage to your parents’ choice. Marry whichever boy is chosen by them after thorough considerations.
(6) Be loyal to your husband and live for him and Lord in your further life. Love him and both of you lead a devotional way of life with dignity. This is the only remedy a girl/ boy can do to get relieved from her/ his past physical offenses.
I hope you will follow my advice. No need for any guilt hereafter if you follow my advice strictly. Be free and principled in life. All the best.