What are the duties of husband in a marriage life?
The question from a devotee: “Dear prabhu, 1)what are the duties/responsibilities of husband towards his wife, as all of us know wife should be a mother, a mantri, as lakshmi and dasi. 2)Is it really very difficult to maintain a balance between parents and wife?”
REPLY:
He He… This is the most serious problem all over now a days.
I like to state that the marital life should be natural. No theoretical discussions can make the marriage life better. If the husband and wife remain naturally accepting the realities of life, and fulfilling their responsibilities and perform them without ego, the life will be nice. If there is mutual trust and mutual understanding, the marital life will be smooth.
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Not only the marital life. Any relation – whether it is a business partnership, or personal relation, if both the partners show their full loyalty to the opponent, there will be no issues between them. Only when any one of them start to act cleverly, the problem starts.
So, let all of us not live in dialogues. Let us act.
It is said that a wife should act like a mother, minister, lakshmi, dasi, etc. But, the husband too should reciprocate it. But, the problem is: Who should come down first. Wife thinks : Let him comes down first; Husband thinks: Let her comes down first.
This is not good. Both husband and wife should compete each other to show their love towards each other. They should trust each other. The husband too should treat his wife as his closest and confidential associate for him on earth among material relations. If the husband and wife discards ego, their life will be nice.
So, I do not support giving advices only for wives alone. Both husband and wife have equal responsibilities.
(1)First, both the wife and husband should plan what are the regular assignments for each of them.
(2) If the husband is not well on any day, the wife can help him in his responsibilities. She can even share the assignment of her husband.
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(3) If the wife is not well on any day, the husband can help her in her responsibilities. He can even share the assignment of his wife. If needed, he can even cook, wash utensils, wash the dress of wife whenever need arises or atleast whenever she is physically or mentally not well. No need for any shyness between couples. Both are made for each other and they are managing the family together. Therefore, if need arises, both of them should share their duties. This will increase the love between them.
(4) Most importantly, both wife and husband should stop comparing themselves with other couples and their statuses. Everyone has different and customised karma and hence no two people can be alike. So, comparison is dangerous in marital life.
(5) Most importantly, the husband or wife should never allow third person (even relatives) in their personal life. Only if there is any major misunderstanding beyond their self correction, they should discuss with parents first. If the third person involves in small personal issues, it becomes more serious.
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(6) I don’t think that there is no need for any fixed specification for wife or husband. Be loyal, open to each other. No secrets between husband and wife after marriage.
Therefore, the adjustments between a husband and wife is their personal affair. They have to help and support each other and lead a smooth life.
Hope this is agreeable.
TAIL PIECE:
If both husband and wife together live for satisfying the Lord, where is the need for problems in their life. Both of them will share the duties for satisfying Lord. No place for ego as they do not do for the opponent, but for the Lord. Even if the husband helps his wife, that means, he is trying to keep his wife happy so that she will help him in his devotional services.
This is the best solution for all marital issues. Marry for Lord and serve Lord as couples. That is nice.
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