How to come out of depression because of Love failures?
A male follower (Name hidden) asked like this:
I have problem in concentrating to words. But my ears are normal. I cant understand what person is talking even in my native language. What can i do? I checked up in aiims, delhi. They said ears are well. In my past , i was very talented. Now i am struggling to finish engineering degree.
I know what s wrong with me. It was i had love failure. The girl never realised me and consider me. Then i kept away from all for 4yrs. Doctors now gave me tablets for depression and social anxiety disorder. I know only meditation can solve my all problems. But i can’t follow it. Mind always rules me to be lazy. Pls help. I am staying in bachelor mansion, lik a hostel. This is like jail with all freedom. Even hundreds of persons around me , i dont have anyone to talk. I am staying like this for 6 yrs.
(What to do if our beloved people break our trust? READ HERE!)
While in school days too , there were nobody to care of my feelings. Because dad mom and sister treated me like a culprit as they found i’m loving a girl in those days. May be it was wrong in that age. But i cant forget it sometimes. It was the strong feeling i ever had for girl. But you should know parents are always there to give money for education and my expenditurers. What i really wanted is care! I said to my maternal uncle. My dad passed away last december.uncle s working as deputy secretary for …………….ministry of india. So money s not my problem. I said him” life s boring. Walls are my nearer to me than parents , friends and relatives are. I got care only through phone.”
He said he is arranging for psychological treatment. And just convinced me like I only choosed to live lik this.So i accepted lik i ruined myself. I know life wont change even i go for a job. Because i’ve to stay in mansion only. Mom s staying in native. Sister is in her hostel. I dont know why i live like this. Sometimes I hate myself. Before two years and even before few months before my dad died, i used to hurt myself when i am angry on somebody else. Because i think lik I only responsible for making them angry and so i bang my head in wall, punch my hands in walls. I am just 23 yrs old. I dont know how to proceed the future. I’ve kind helping heart. I’m proud of kind helpful man. I’ve lot of sympathy and empathy. I dont have bad habits like smoking and drinking. I am really worried. Pls help.
After reading your whole message patiently, I thought that the following are the reasons for all your problems:
If you live for atleast one year in a particular atmosphere, your mind will make you addicted in that atmosphere. So, you won’t like any other situations. That is why, many of the girls and boys have home sick when going to outstations for studies or work or on marriage. This is avoidable. How?
(AVOIDING SUICIDE FOR LOVE FAILURES! CASE STUDY OF A GIRL! READ HERE!)
You should not remain in the same atmosphere for long. You have to travel and see the outer world. You have to meet many people and realise that this world is wide. So, come out of room and mingle with the people. 50% of your depression because of Love failures will be solved.
Being alone for long time makes one psychologically disturbed and isolated. One should never remain alone for more than a few days. You have to stay with your parents or friends. You have to discuss frankly with all people. Only when you keep on discussing with others on various topics, your mind will become free.
So, My second advice is: Don’t stay alone. Stay with some people. If possible, skip your ego and go to your parents again. If you behave as a good boy, they will love you again.
(What a girl should do if a boy loves herself and another girl also? READ HERE!)
You seem to feel pity about yourself. This is an unhealthy practice that ruins one’s future. NEVER FEEL PITY FOR YOURSELF. If you pity for yourself, you will develop inferiority complex that makes you un-competent in the society. So, don’t feel pity for yourself. You have good health, good body, good knowledge, etc. Why should you feel pity for yourself? You are perfect. Because, you have written your problems very clearly. If you are mentally affected, you can not reproduce clearly like this.
So, you are not mentally affected. But, you are behaving to others like that to gain pity about yourself. Stop this. Show to others that you are very productive and you are better than many others in tackling the situations. If you fix your mindset from inferior to balanced, you will gain confidence. You will become free from depression because of Love failures.
REASON-4: Next, Love failure! You have not failed, but escaped. What a foolishnesss it is to worry for a girl who left you? Do you know, she will marry a boy and get children and forget you? Why should you worry for just the separation of a girl? Does that girl have any special features that is not available in all other girls? Is her body made up of gold or diamond? Is she immune to deceiving mentality?
(Can one maintain good contacts with ex-lover who married another person? READ HERE!)
No. She is also an ordinary girl like all other girls. Whatever you wanted to have with that girl can be had from another girl also. She will not give anything special for you. Remember, all girls are alike and no one is special. She may be beautiful and may speak sweetly now that disturbs you. But, after 20 years, she also will become old and her speech will become incoherent. This sweetness is short lived.
So, never feel for the loss of a lover. She is not final. There are crores of girls in this world. All will have some special aspects that will be enjoyable to you. All have the bodies alike. All have the feminine nature. In what way your lover alone is special? Is she the only girl fit to marry in this world? There are still better girls in this world.
So, stop the foolishness of feeling for a girl. She has gone. She will forget you when she gets married to someone else. Even if you convince her and marry, what is the guarantee that she will live happily with you?
So, forget her first. If you live alone like this for long, you will lose the opportunity of proving that you are a productive boy. The world will speak that you are a coward.
Instead of worrying for that girl, start going to a good job and mingle with the world. Earn well. Have money with you. If you earn well and speak cordially, many girls will compete to marry you. No girl will like a boy who is always speaking negatively. As far as I know, girls like only those boys who are very active and jovial. So, become a jovial boy.
(Tips to deal with the Ex-lover who married another person! READ HERE!)
Hereafter, do not love a girl before marriage. No time for that. Instead, after an year, marry a good girl and love her. Engage yourself with that girl. Day by day, your life will become very beautiful.
Importantly, go to a nearby temple and sathsanga centre like ISKCON and attend the sunday classes on sundays. Mingle with the devotees there. See how they have dedicated their life for Krishna. Similarly, start loving Krishna. Chant the Lord’s Names atleast 108 times daily. If you love Krishna, Krishna will show a good wife for you in future, who will be better than that girl whom you loved earlier.
So, come out of this lonely life. Mingle with the outer world. Mingle with devotees. Marry a girl. Live happily. If you see your first child, all your worries will fly out.
You do not have any serious psychological disorder, but, you have inferiority complex and some small amount of depression because of Love failures. That’s all. If you start following my above advices, you will realise that there is another big world outside your ex-lover. Because, you were thinking that she was the entire world. Now, you will realise that she is not final. But, this is the beginning as you have become very matured now. So, a new life you.
If you develop this DON’T CARE mindset, the whole world will see you with admiration. Earn well and come to a good status. Make your ex-lover feel later for her action. She must miss you for her action in future when you lead a successful married life, if the mistake is with her.
So, vacate that lodge; Go to your parents. Love them. Mingle with the world. Don’t forget to visit the temples nearby. Read Bhagavad Gita regularly that will give you a balanced mindset. If you do that, you will not need any tablets for releasing depression. There will never be any depresssion for you when you develop such a balanced mindset
See how beautiful your life will be in future!
Hope you are now hopeful about coming out of depression because of Love failures.
(HOW TO COME OUT OF THE PAINS DUE TO SINGLE SIDED LOVE FAILURES? READ HERE!)