Is hiding the truths and past mistakes to others and keeping them as secrets wrong?
Actual Question from a follower:
“I got very low marks in competitive exam because I don’t prepare for the exam but I’m really afraid to say the marks to the parents so I lie to the parents about my mark and my heart becomes pain about doing such unnecessary actions but I don’t have any option what can I do???”
In some places, it can be hidden and in some other places, it should not be hidden.
You have hidden your low marks to your parents out of fear. So, you feel guilty.
Though this could have been shared with your parents, you need not feel guilt for having hidden the marks once to your parents.
Instead, you should take steps to correct the mistake and make your parents happy.
Study sincerely and get very good marks in the next exam and share the good marks to your parents.
All the mistakes need not be shared to others IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT THAT YOU CAN CORRECT YOURSELF IN NEAR FUTURE.
Thus, yours is a small mistake that can be corrected in the next exam itself. Therefore, if you are confident that you can correct the mistake yourself, you need not feel for having hidden it.
At the same time, it is always good to inform every mistake to your parents and ask for forgiveness from them. Though they scold you, accept that and assure them that you will score high in the next exam itself.
Mistakes are natural for every human being. If anyone likes to live without mistakes, it is impossible. If he says that he is beyond mistakes, he must be lying.
By hiding even small mistakes, you are bearing a new load of guilt. In due course of time, you will become courageous to hide the mistakes by developing a taste in hiding the things.
It should not be allowed. You should be courageous to accept your mistakes boldly and face the consequences.
At the same time, some mistakes should never be hidden from others though you can correct them in future.
Some examples are:
(1) If you had invested money in different sources or if you had given loan to others, you should compulsorily share the details with your next close relative like spouse, parents, etc. Because, in case something happens to you, they will be tortured by the lenders or the persons who had got loan from you may cheat your family because they don’t know your having given loan to them.
Or, atleast you should keep them in writing in a diary and should be prominently kept in the home. It is better to maintain a file and keep all the related documents in that file.
(2) If you have any symptoms of any diseases, you should not hide that from others because they will suffer when the disease advances further.
A few years back, I read this news. A man had acquired AIDS. He knew that. But, he did not reveal to others. He had sex with many girls with AIDS. As a result, many girls were affected by HIV. All of them doubted that man. Then, that man was arrested. Such hidings are very dangerous.
(3) If a boy or girl has any disease or inability or a loan, he/ she should inform that to the bride or groom before marriage. If not, that girl/ boy will be affected. We read in news that girls divorcing their husbands because of impotency that was hidden by the boy before mariage. Potency is the most important factor for marriage. If there is any problem in that, it should not be hidden.
(4) If a boy or girl hates sex based life, he/ she should choose a spouse strictly according to his/ her taste. Or, he/ she should avoid marriage. If he enters marriage hiding his/ her hatred to sex, the innocent spouse will be affected.
(5) A smoker or drinker should not hide that fact when he applies for insurance. Because when he goes for claim, if the doctor finds that, he will not get the claim.
(6) If a boy or girl has already performed marriage and not yet divorced, he/ she should not hide the same to the spouse. That marriage will become invalid if found later.
(7) If you apply for a job, you should not give false details in the application/ resume. If found later, you wil lose your job.
(8) A disciple should not hide his/ her mistakes to his/ her spiritual master. If he/ she hides, the initiation/ diksha given by that guru may not work and it will become an offence.
(9) One should not give a false horoscope for getting married if he/ she has any dosha. It will affect the whole life if wrong person is accepted based on changed horoscope.
(10) In general, a husband and wife should not allow any secrets between them. This is the binding force of a married life. OPENNESS is the key requirement for married couples.
(11) One should not hide any details to the lawyers or doctors. This will lead to wrong judgement or wrong treatment.
(12) Read this post to know whether a girl can hide her premarital affairs to the husband or not: SHOULD A GIRL TELL HER PREMARITAL AFFAIRS TO HUSBAND?
Thus, all the above mentioned cases are a few examples for serious hidings. They will definitely affect the life.
Here, I like to give my life example:
When I borrowed lakhs of rupees to start a business on my own because of my family’s poverty, everybody in my family knew that I am starting the business with borrowed money.
However, though I worked sincerely, because of my planetary effects, I could not repay the loan in time for the lenders. I did not inform the delay made by me to the family members in a hope that I can repay the loans within 2-3 months.
But, one of the lender who is our relative informed my brothers and sisters that I am delaying the payment. Later, I had to inform that to them when they asked me.
After that, I repaid those lenders within a few months and saved my image.
The point is, though I did not reveal the delay to my parents, it was told by the lenders themselves.
Thus, it is always good to share the facts to the family members.
The incident mentioned by you is very small one and you yourself can correct it. Don’t worry.
You have now two choices:
(1) Even now, you can inform the truth to your parents and seek their pardon and accept if the scold you because they will forget it within a few days.
(2) Or, you can study well and score high in the next exam itself.
Do one of the above. All the best.